ok, I was almost finished with this post when my power went out so let's try this again. lol

First of all, I'm no longer the resident pothead. I've been clean since 7-18-06 (which is 45 days today) and I've never been happier!

Now for the reason of this post. I know no one is perfect but I've found someone who I truely believe is as close as I'll ever find. This girl, Natasha, has been the best friend I've ever had. She's truely a blessing in my life and I love her with all my heart. There's just one little problem, her boyfriend James. It's one of those internet relationships and they've never even met. But she says there's just something between them that she just can't explain.

I just don't know what I should do. I asked my NA sponsor about relationships and his only advice came from the NA Basic Text which is "Relationships can be a terribly painful area." Right now, Natasha is the only woman I'm willing to get into a relationship with. I don't know why but I don't think the relationship between Natasha and James is going to last much longer. Last week, she was willing to throw away the relationship because they still haven't met but she's changed her mind since then.

My first question is if I should even get into a relationship this early in my recovery? She knows that my recovery has to come first and she knows that a lot of nights we won't be able to see or talk to each other because I have NA meetings to go to. My second question is what I should do between Natasha and I while she's still dating James. I've heard the saying 'eating ain't cheating' but I just don't know. Last week, she was totally open to the idea of having a 'friends with (partial) benefits' type of relationship but now she just wants to be friends. Keeping that friendship alive is my ultimate goal. Like I said, she's the best friend I've ever had and I don't want to loose that for anything.

I really don't know what to do. Should I wait paitiently until the relationship between her and James disolves? If she becomes open to at least partial benefits again, should I take her up on them? It's been a VERY long time since I've been with anyone in any type of sexual way and I just straight up need to get laid! lol

I need to go so please, give me any and all suggestions you might have.

Thanks!

__________________
words I live by;

POW/MIAs - No Will Never Be Forgotten

Karma can be a bitch, so don't make her mad!

Politeness counts.

The definition of a gentleman/lady is someone who does all the he/she can do to make the people around them as happy and comfortable as possible

Life's a bitch but it's all gotta be for something. If you keep faith in that, everything will be okay.

Every once in a great while, you just gotta kick a little ass!