Ok I realize this question will but into doubts my....manliness..in the bedroom, but I really need to know. First a bit of history that I feel needs to be shared.

My girlfriend and I have been dating for almost 6 years now. In that time she and I have had a monogomous relationship, which I've honestly enjoyed. I was her first (to be honest, I wasn't the best first she could have had. It was...painful for her; well beyond the normal pain that is.) I however have had several other partners (four not including her) so the issue she and I in bed is new to me.

Ok heres the issue.

During intercourse (not foreplay or postplay - but actual penetration). She will have a minor orgasm (a shudder at best) and she looses all interest. On top of that she physically dries up. (I will have a dry flacky residue left on my penis). One of the hardest parts to this is that during which I still want to continue! She normally will let me go on, but I will usually fall short of orgasm out of guilt and also I really don't have any interest in such one sided sex. SHe and I have discussed this numorus times, and for her, sex is somthing of a guilty pleasure. (she was raised VERY catholic. I was raised Episcopalian).

I know the first and most obvious answer is to use KY or other lubracants. We have tried this, for me though I mentally disengage during the "Time out" and also the smell is pretty bad after we use it.

I also know that another undercurrent is that it sounds like (and could likly be) a "compititon to finish (read:achieve orgasm) instead of letting sex be the wonderful experience it is just for the sake of the sex.

I really love her, and I want to spend the rest of my life with her. But I dont know if I can do that with the...Victorian age sex life we have together.

Please help!