A man and his wife consult a golf pro to try and improve their game.

The pro examines the man's technique and comments, "Your grip's too tight, imagine you're holding the club like you'd hold your wife's breasts."

The man does so and hits the ball right onto the green.

Next the pro looks at the wife's technique. "I can see your problem," says the pro. "Your grip is too tight, handle the club as if it was your husband's penis."

The woman does so, but only manages to knock the ball a few feet from the tree.

"Okay," says the pro, "Not to worry. Now the first thing you have to do is take the club out of your mouth..."

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The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind