Ever spoken and wished that you could take the words
back...or that you could crawl into a hole? Here are a
few people who do....

1. I walked into a hair salon with my husband and
three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you
charge for a shampoo and a blowjob? I turned around
and walked back out and never went back. My husband
didn't say a word... he knew better.
Melinda Lowe, 39, Seguin, TX


2. I was at the golf store comparing different kinds
of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I
had been using. After browsing for several minutes, I
was approached by one of the good-looking gentlemen
who works at the store. He asked if he could help me.
Without thinking, I looked at him and said, "I think I
like playing with men's balls."
Colleen Collins, 31, Ferndale, MI


3. My sister and I were at the mall and passed by a
store that sold a variety of nuts. As we were looking
at the display case, the boy behind the counter asked
if we needed any help.
I replied, "No, I'm just looking at your nuts."
My sister started to laugh hysterically, the boy
grinned, and I turned red and walked away. To this
day, my sister has never let me forget.
Faye Emerick, 34, Ellerslie, MD


4. While in line at the bank one afternoon, my
toddler decided to release some pent-up energy and ran
amok. I was finally able to grab hold of her after
receiving looks of disgust and annoyance from other
patrons. I told her that if she did not start
behaving "right now" she would be punished.
To my horror, she looked me in the eye and said in
a voice just as threatening, "If you don't let me go
right now, I will tell Grandma that I saw you kissing
Daddy's pee-pee last night!"
The silence was deafening after this enlightening
exchange. Even the tellers stopped what they were
doing. I mustered up the last of my dignity and walked
out of the bank with my daughter in tow. The
last thing I heard when the door closed behind me were
screams of laughter.
Amy Richardson, Stafford, Virginia

5. A lady picked up several items at a discount
store. When she finally got up to the checker, she
learned that one of her items had no price tag.
Imagine her embarrassment when the checker got on the
intercom and boomed out for all the store to hear,
"PRICE CHECK ON LANE THIRTEEN, TAMPAX SUPER SIZE."
That was bad enough, but somebody at the rear of the
store apparently misunderstood the word "Tampax" for
"THUMBTACKS." In a business-like tone, a voice boomed back
over the intercom."DO YOU WANT THE KIND YOU PUSH IN WITH
YOUR THUMB OR THE KIND YOU POUND IN WITH A HAMMER?"
Diane E. Amov

6. Have you ever asked your child a question too many
times? My three-year-old son had a lot of problems
with potty training and I was on him constantly. One
day we stopped at Taco Bell for a quick lunch in
between errands. It was very busy, with a full dining
room. While enjoying my taco, I smelled something
funny, so of course I checked my seven-month-old
daughter, and she was clean.
Then I realized that Danny had not asked to go potty
in a while, so I asked him if he needed to go, and he
said "No." I kept thinking, "Oh Lord, that child
has had an accident, and I don't have any clothes with
me." Then I said, "Danny, are you SURE you didn't have
an accident?" "No," he replied.
I just KNEW that he must have had an accident, because
the smell was getting worse. Soooooo! I asked one more
time, "Danny, did you have an accident?" This time he
jumped up, yanked down his pants, bent over and spread
his cheeks and yelled. "SEE MOM, IT'S JUST FARTS!!"
While 30 people nearly choked to death on their tacos
laughing, he calmly pulled up his pants and sat down.
An old couple made me feel better by thanking me for
the best laugh they'd ever had!


7. This had most of the state of Michigan laughing for two
days and a very embarrassed female news anchor who will,
in the future, likely think before she speaks. What happens
when you predict snow but don't get any....a true story...

We had a female news anchor who, the day after it was
supposed to have snowed and didn't, turned to the weatherman
and asked: "So Bob, where's that 8 inches you promised me
last night?"
Not only did HE have to leave the set, but half the
crew did too they were laughing so hard!