Wanda...

I disagree with your definitions as they seem to be based purely on sexual behavior. I don't think "sexual orientation" can be soley defined by when, where, with whom and how you have sex.

I define my sexual orientation as Lesbian. I have had sex with men (2 to be exact) and REALLY enjoy penetration (toys, fingers, tongues, etc.). I am not opposed to sexual experiences with men, and often have fantasies that include them. In my case, the term LESBIAN refers to who I "partner" with. Who I invest my emotions in. Where I feel comfortable establishing a romantic and domestic relationship. Does that make sense?

I clarify this, because according to your definitions, 98% of the straight people I know (men & women) would be bi-sexual, bi-curious, or experimenting. I don't believe that any of them would define themselves as such. Particularly the men!

The bottom line, in my opinion, is that sexuality is sexuality. Pleasure is pleasure. If a man enjoys anal pleasure, he is not necessarily gay. If a woman fantasises about another woman, she is not necessarily bi-curious. If a lesbian likes to get fucked with a strap-on, she's still a lesbian...and just because 2 female porn stars perform cunilingus, doesn't make them lesbians.

It's really dificult to label anyone on the basis of what they find sexually arousing. Sexuality is a beautiful thing. Pleasure is something everyone is entitled to. I encourage everyone to explore whatever it is that turns them on, without feeling trapped by labels and stereotypes. Sex is sex, love is love...it's really special when the two intersect. In my opinion, that intersection is where you find the defintion for your orientation.

Humbly,
Ophelia