If you were in a sexless marriage would you find it from someone else?
And, if you were the one not giving the sex in your marriage would you allow, or look the other way if your spouce took a lover?

I believe that there are far too many reasons for a marriage to become sexless and each case would have to depend on the reason and the discussion between the partners.

Ok, thanks for responding.
What it is only because one partner did not WANT sex any more?
I realize that several issues can contribute. Depression, finances, loss of someone.. a variety of reasons.. so lets just say that the reason is that one party of the marriage just is no longer interested in sex.

Oh, and no.. I am not in one. I was just discussing it with someone and thought I would ask the board what they thought.

billysworld, this sounds personal - and i think if you are looking for validation. It's not fair to ask for it here where we only get the benefit of knowing what you are willing to share rather than the whole story from both members of the relationship. Follow your heart and do what you believe to be right.

If I'm incorrect, I apologize for being so presumptious. But as BIBI said, the circumstances of the situation are bound to be unique and communication is essential.

If one person weren't interested at all...and were unwilling even though they knoew their partner *needed* sex...I would tend to believe that sexless partner were somewhat selfish.

Personally, I would tend to advocate discussing the situation and coming to an understanding...either (1) sexless partner compromises by having some sex becauses/he loves the other party and wants to make them happy, or (2) sexless partner agrees to allow mate to find a substitute, or (3) they decide to get divorced.

I think making the decision without a discussion is a BAD idea.

__________________
Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

You are incorrect. this is not one of those "I have a friend" things at all. I was discussing it with someone who expressed to me that they are in one. I thought I would put it out there for discussion.
No reason to apologize to me at all, you are simply mistaken in reading into it.
I can't be in a sexless marriage since I am not married. I am however in a very sexful singles life.
Lets please not read into what was not written.
Thanks

osuche,
Very good post. I do agree that discussion needs to take place. I agree that it is selfish of one partner to expect the other to understand and not have "needs" based on thier mood or lack of interest.