Great news, wyndhy Hope the easier stuff continues to get easier as the days and weeks go by

Soon you'll be back in overdrive.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

How ya doin'?

Yeah! You're overdue with an update and there's a lot of us that don't like that.

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you guys are sweet to care so much.

all's still reasonably good and definitely better than it was. still no antiemetics needed (unless you count weed, which i don't ) the damage that the first round of nasties inflicted is still improving - i can actually use a toothbrush again so i don't need to clean my teeth with baking soda and a paper towel anymore, and when i wipe my bum i no longer cry. no leg pain (a common side effect of the taxol) so i dodged that bullet. slightly tingly finger tips and lips - no biggie. and a few vision thingies, floaters and a blurry spot in my right eye. need to see the eye doc. and also hotflashes – a possible indicator that i've been thrown into early menopause by the chemo, or not. i need to wait at least a year from the end of chemo to be sure.

oh! and i have "chemo brain” (lmfao) – a complaint expressed by many peeps who take the dose dense regiment as i did. my vocab is dwindling and sometimes i can't recall words for stuff or i say the wrong word. it's sorta hard to explain but often i'm thinking the correct word in my head but another word comes out of my mout - always has the same beginning sound but it's the wrong word. kinda disconcerting. doctors have often dismissed this phenomenon as a stress problem, not a chemo side effect, but more and more are beginning to take it seriously and are doing studies (my onc's partner is conducting one at the moment). chemo drugs do not cross the blood/brain barrier, which is why it's sorta been dismissed, but that doesn't mean that something else isn't going on. i'll be interested to see the results.

i have met again with the radiation oncologist. she took an extremely long time to tell me that she does recommend radiation even though there are no US trials that support her, and the french and canadian trials have been soundly trounced by US oncologists. i really picked up some weird signals from her - it's as if she feels that her profession is the least respected when it comes to breast cancer. she blamed the lack of US trials on the reluctance of surgeons to recommend a patient for a phase 2 or 3 trial because of fears that someone who needs radiation would be randomized to NOT get it and vice-versa. i said that seems like a perfectly reasonable fear for a surgeon or a patient, that at the very least (barring last-ditch efforts for the terminal) minimum standard of care should be given. she reluctantly agreed but admitted it does make for some controversial issues in regards to patients like me who do not have 8 or more lymph nodes that showed cancer cells. in my case, the cells were a very high grade (meaning that they looked about as different from normal cells as you can imagine) and there is just no way to know if there are other nodes affected without more surgery. specifically, removing all the axilla nodes. surgery is dangerous of course, and there is the very real problem of lymphedema. there is also the very real fear that there are more nodes contaminated though. i feel that there are. like i mentioned, the two that tested positive were so far gone i feel that there is no way they were the only two affected. radiation has its problems, too. a slight risk of lymphedema, and the beam will nick a part of my lung and heart and that can cause serious (and cancerous) damage to those organs of course, and then there are the complications it causes for reconstruction because of the damage it does to the skin (the least of my worries at the moment). so i've got some research to do.

all in all, i’m feeling sooooooooooooooooo much better and grateful for it. and my kids are handling it great. there’s the occasional fear for me and hate of the treatments expressed, but for the most part hubby and i are keeping them well informed in a non-threatening way and breaking it down so they can understand and not be afraid of it without actually making promises. i feel bad about that but i can’t lie to them. better that they understand all the possibilities, but know that there are some that are way more remote than others. focus on the good, ya know?

so that’s it. long update but i think i covered it all. except this … love you guys!

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

I can confirm other instances of chemo brain. My intern definitely had the same speech processing issue you describe. Some times she would notice it and be embarrassed, other times she was a bit indignant with the kids, "Yea that's what I said." When they corrected her. She too had the finger tip issue. I wanted to get her the rubber thumb covers like people who count money/papers use but was not sure if she would like that.

If you do radiation use emu oil for the dryness. My sis in law said it was the best stuff. We bought it for her to try from a local farm. They squeeze the emus right on site

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

emeeeeeeeeeeeew.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

What, wyndhy, you don't secretly want to squeeze emus?

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

So! We have more in common than just my lust for you. I didn't have the treatment or even have breasts to get 'chemo brain'.

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Watch with the emu-bashing you lot!

That's half the Oz Coat of Arms you're disrespecting.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

No one said anything about bashing emus, just squeezing them.

Emu squeezer. Now that'd be an interesting item to have on one's resume. Wonder if the pay is any good.

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Squeezing an emu,
or glowing in the dark,
Just know that I love you!
like trees love their bark.


uuhhh yeah--poet I am not. Talk like Yoda now, I do!

yeeeeeess.

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

I'm happy to know that things are going as well as (or even better) than expected. I think about you often and I'm happy you're well.

And you didn't need all that vocabulary anyway....

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

Dress like Yoda does she too?

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating