((((((((Lixy)))))) Our parallels keep getting spookier. I have a brother whose problems are very similar to the ones you described your Mom as having. We had the problems with him taking the meds so Dad had it fixed so they were administered by shot. That way if he didn't show up for treatment we'd have a heads up. It's terribly hard to deal with at times. I know I really had a time trying to understand the ailment and deal with little brother myself. My heart goes out to all who have had similar situations.

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As to marriage or celibacy, let a man take which course he will. He will be sure to repent - Socrates

Love is not looking in each other's eyes, but looking together in the same direction - Antoine De Saint-Exupery

fzzy? Your friend has never been diagnosed with schizophrenia?? I'm surprised as the symptons you've described sound so familiar as ones my mother experienced.

My mother had strong bouts of depression...this is how I knew she'd stopped taking her medicine. I'd come home from school one day and all the blinds would still be pulled and never raised for the day. When I was old enough to realize what was happening I'd stop socializing so much and keep close to home as often as I could. I began to see a course of steps in her decline into full manifestation of her schizophrenia. It would start with her withdrawling from her social life. She wouldn't leave the house let alone open the blinds. I'd hear her whispering to herself..and snickering...and when I would walk into the room she would look at me quizically to see if she could tell if I had heard her. Sometimes I would ask her who she was talking to and she would say.....no one....that it must have been the TV or radio......or if neither was on....she'd just say no one. Soon thereafter she would start doing odd things....like one day I came home to find the fire company at my house...putting a fire out on the back part of our property. She had been "cleaning" that day and found some of my brother's old porn mags and took them outside and put lighter fluid on them and set them ablaze and went back in the house. She had a real thing about sex being nasty while she was like this....but had normal feelings towards sex when she was on meds and ok. Soon after this kind of behavior...the voices in her head would get stronger....and I'd hear her in bed at night crying and begging them to stop and leave her alone and let her sleep. I would stand outside the bathroom door and listen to her in the bath and talking as if she were on the telephone...I could hear her end of the conversation and then silence and then her answering or asking questions. She would take a bath instead of a shower (I'd hear her say....oh no.....I'm not standing up so you can see me naked..and stuff like that) and she would never put the light on while she bathed and always bathed at night. By this time she didn't care if I heard her "talking to herself" and she would walk by me and go...did you hear that? To which I'd say...no mom....they are only in YOUR head! I once asked her who she thought was talking to her....and she told me once....Claude Atkins......that's right....the actor from that show about trucking!!!??? I said...MOM! Claude Atkins can't be talking to you...he's all the way in California...and she'd say.....he can talk to me from anywhere he is! How could I argue? Soon she would start talking trashy and nonsensical! Once....I spackled and painted a terribly shabby room in our house to give her a sense of how good the house could look if she'd just help me with repairs........and when I came home from school she had taken a bottle of chianti (the long fish bottle it used to come in at times) and smashed through the wall with it and chianti was all over the freshly painted walls......her excuse for this is that the house was a mess anyway and she didn't think a coat of paint could hide that fact! Sorta like....you can't polish a piece of shit! My mother had always been a very religious and God fearing woman....but when she was "out of it" she'd actually curse God and tell me my dad told her Jesus was a bastard and that dad had a good point. Mom never agreed with dad on anything so I just ignored her saying my dad said that and chalked it up to something in her own head. Soon, she'd start thinking people were "coming to get her". I'd ask her if she wanted me to call the dotors so they could help her and she'd yell at me that she wasn't going to be "railroaded" again......into another institution. One time...when I was really little and in 2nd grade...they had to take us away to a foster home cause dad had to work and mom had to be put in the hospital. They gave her 2 shock treatments that particular time and when she got out of the hospital and we all got home again she could hardly remember things about us. It all soon came back to her and when I got older I realized what had happened....but when I was that young I was scared. And so when she said "railroaded"...that's what she meant.....she wasn't going to let them shock her and take her memory away....I asked and that's what she told me. Well....as it got more and more bizzarre I would finally have to call the doctors because she wouldn't get back on her medication.......but the only way she could be hospitalized was if two doctors, not affiliated with each other, examined her and determined that she was a threat to herself and/or others. She was only ever a threat to herself...never to others! I tell ya what.....I had alot of leather wallets and leather moccasins while she was alive!

Anyway.........does any of that sound familiar fzzy? There is so much more but I'm sure I'm running out of room! I wish you and your friend well hun! I wish there was a way I could help! If you need to....PM me anytime...k?

((((((dm)))))
(((((db))))))
(((((Bear))))))

Thanks guys!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

Lixy .... some is familiar, yet most not ... gratefully, she hears her voices, and has night terrors, whether or not on medication .... they started out with a diagnosis of bi-polar/manic-depressive .... she definately has OCD's, thoughts of germs and bugs make her "crazy"... she cuts on herself, though she had managed with therapy to get that under control most of the time ... used to cut on herself at least daily ... now just once every couple of months or so .... says she actually feels the pain leave her body as she slices at her skin ... She hates the kind of out of it feeling of the meds, but so far ... for nearly 15 years now, she takes the pills the Dr. prescribes and only stops with Dr. approval or serious signs of reaction to a drug ... then reports it to Dr. as soon as possible .... though there have been times when it has taken a lot of talking to get her to keep going with a medication.

A lot of the problem I think in diagnosis is that so many of the "mental disorders" have overlapping symptoms, and some have multiple disorders (such as your mom). My friend has never responded well to any of the drugs, and so they are constantly (even still) playing with the dosages, mixtures and adding new drugs into the mix ... and she reacts negatively - stomach problems and such in many of the drugs, so she suffers through weeks of being nearly bedridden trying out new drugs or dosages or combinations.

She is a functional person and lives in a state/federal aid housing situation, near a couple of members of her family who are there for her in such great and positive ways and so she is able to make it through day to day, but for those of us who love her (as I'm sure it was for you) it is hell to see her so different from who she was before most of this. Of course not nearly as much hell as it is for her. I am grateful that my personality seems to be a calming and normalizing influence for her, many times I've called and she's been in such a strong disassociative state that I've kept her on the phone just babbling about whatever for several hours until I can hear her personality begin to shine through and then finally a few giggles and common sense type responses.

Anyway, thanks Lixy ... you are such a gem!!!

Awwwwwwww (((((((fzzy)))))))))....anytime hun! I wish your friend well and will keep positive thoughts for her and her loved ones...including you!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

My Gosh! Lixy and Fzzy ... you two have really been through a lot. My mom had Alzheimer's and I thought that was sometimes difficult to deal with ... but it wasn't anything like what you've related.

If you ever need hugs ... just close your eyes. My arms will be held out for you both. The love and caring the two of you have in your hearts is truly an inspiration.

Jseal,

Quod erat demonstrandum-----^

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pantyfanatic,

That depends upon what it is that is shown. To what are you referring?

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Eudaimonia