Well the restaurant was really crowded and the service was terrible so lunch turned into dinner

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

The deadlocked door of the kirk slammed shut and it took the vicar and

myself till now to pick the lock 'cos the keys were in the rectory

and his housekeeper was over at her sister's because the poor

thing had a headache caused when she hit her head chasing Mrs

Jones' cat which ate her budgie after a tennis ball knocked over the

cage which caused Susan to lose her concentration in a vital set and

the St Andrews tennis team won again so they all had to go down

to the pub.............

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

*crossing legs to avoid peeing pants* OMG OF!!!!! OMG!!!

*****Land Shark*****

*****Candy Gram*****

And.....I opened the door and these jaws got me and sucked me outta the house......and here I am babe.....and lived to tell about it......ergo all the gashes (scratches) all over my body! Fuckin OUCH! I'm tired!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

an excuse...

you could always claim to be having sex in the back seat with a stranger.... ROFL

Or...

Some asshole put superglue in my door lock.. and can't get it open....

I've always sucked at excuses... I'm sooo terrible at lying that I generally end up tellin the truth...

If it works let me know! LOL

um seriously boss i was gonna be ontime i left like 30 min early but well there was this lady on the side of the road and her tire was flat and she was i labor so i had to deliver the kid then change the tire and then i had to drive home and change cuz u know i was nasty dirty after that..oh..the other 2 days i wasnt here.. well yea.. i know i was sposed to be here but the labor lasted like 48 hours..what?..why didnt i call on my cell phone..well ..um sir , its like this, the ................

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Ravage Me!

Me Time
Long Lonley Night
Tied Up
Teased

http://thesmashedfairy.blogspot.com/

You saw an old friend?
Constipation has made you a walking time bomb (that one would work for you, wouldn't it, Skippy?)
A filling in your tooth fell out and you need emergency surgery?

"Listen, I just decided to stay out late someplace I know you wouldn't approve of ... so there!"

Then I'd have to decide what to say once I did find a phone.

"I was kidnapped by Jenna Jamieson and pack raped by a busload

of her friends."

Oh, all right, I was down the pub with Jeff and Frog.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

I left work and was driving along when I realized I had to pee really bad. So I pulled over to the side of the road and walked into the bushes a little. While I was urinating, I saw that I was overlooking a yard with a pretty lady sunbathing in the nude and I became aroused. I began pleasuring myself when her dog started barking and alerted her. Quickly, I turned around and ran back to my car, trying to pull my pants up on the way, when the commuter van filled with nuns pulled over to see if I was broken down. I would've called you from the police station, but I spent my one phone call on legal counsel. See what happens when you don't give me enough sex? None of this would've happened if you just used your hand on me once in awhile! Now look at all the trouble you caused! I hope you're happy!

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

I got this phone call out of the blue from some guy who said, if I'd meet him, he'd feed me Salisbury steak and mashed potatoes. How was I to know he was all the way in Connecticut?

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author