'Scientology - What You Don't See' ()..."I'll make millions to add to my other millions" cackled Oprah, evilly...Just then, Oprah's manservant Clint Eastwood comes into the room to serve her tea and drops the bombshell....'

"but surely they'll be someone to stop you" Clint said, "like who?" Oprah snapped back. Just then the window smashed and in jumped Elton John claiming, "I will, This evil plan will never work"

__________________
its all fun and games till someone lose's a bollock!

"And how do you work that out?" said Oprah, sneering. "Well," said Elton adjusting his wig. "I've written a song about it and my partner David Furnish is going to organise a charity benefit gig to stop your evil plan coming to fruition...mwahahaha all we need now is for...."

"George Michael to agree to do the benefit with us and we'll have it made." What Elton didn't realize was that......."

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

simply putting spandex underwear over tights does not make you a super hero. Clint spun around knocking Elton to the floor "OK punk do you feel lucky".

Elton looked up, gulped and whispered....

__________________
Strength in depth

I believe your most attractive features are your heart and soul

"... not right at the moment, Clint. But, when Will Smith uses his MIB gun on you, that will all change."

Clint laughed a dry, cynical laugh and said "That's not a real gun - he bought it from Toys R Us..." Eltons bottom lip began to tremble and he started to cry...just then, there was a huge sound of glass smashing...the assembled company turned to look, and who should have shimmied in through the window but...

... Britney Spears, who had just left the rehab centre after just one day for the second time! "Anyone see my wig?" she asked.

__________________
Eudaimonia

Suddenly the adjoining bathroom door slammed open, exposing a wet, dripping and towel-clad Susan Lucci, smelling of lilac bubble bath.

"Here's a wig for you, you no-talented, baldheaded, pantyless bitch!" Lucci screamed, taking one sinewy hand, snatching the hair off her head and throwing it at Britney in one fell swoop.

__________________
Latrevo ta megala stithi!

"When men worship me because of my breasts, I feel that I am an embodiment of the goddess that has become...a part of our collective human soul." — Chloe Vevrier

IrezumiKiss' "Erotique Nonstop" — original, libertine, dirty drawings for your pleasure:
FINALLY updated! 5/6/08
More 5/6/08

Irezumi Kiss' Library.com Page - a comprehensive listing of my bibliophilic erotic inspirations & other readin's whut I digs

Lucci added, "By-the-way, your boobs look phoney."

"They are" said Britney "I had a builder install them at the same time he built my swimming pool - He had a couple of bricks and some mortar left, so I thought 'Why not?'" Lucci looked intrigued and asked for the builder's name and number - she was shocked when it turned out to be...

Bob Villa, who had done some work at one of Lucci's summer homes a few years back. She then said to Ms. Spears, "Hmmmm, I wonder if he could do something about this?" as she..........

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

lifted up her skirt "I need a new chest of drawers putting in" ( couldn't think of a better euphemism...lol). Britney laughed and said "He'd need an awful lot of wood to sort that out, here I think you'd better have my gynaecologists number instead...". So, Susan diligently called the gynae's number to get an appointment - imagine her surprise when she turned up at the surgery the next day to be greeted by....

...edward scissorhands she ran screaming from the office and straight into the arms of...

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

Anthony Hopkins (dressed as Hannibel Lecter) who immediately offered to take her for dinner - all washed down with a nice chianti . She pondered on whether to take him up on this for a moment, but before she could answer...