Testosterone is gonna win in this thread! LOL!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

ha ha! I just thought the same thing Lixy

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Well there was this one time when a freind of mine needed some extra money while he was in college, so he decided to sell knive sets (like the ones that get advertised on TV at 3am).

So in order to prepare himself for his new job, once he got his demo set, he had a bunch of us come over so he could practice his sales pitch. I was there with my best friend, NOT the knife sales guy, and after witnessing my friend Jim do his sales pitch, my friend Darren grabs one of the knives and attempts to make a cut with it, cutting off the tip of Jim's thumb.

We didn't realize it at first, but noticed that Jim had left the group for a while, we found him soaking his thumb in the bathroom sink, full of ice.

My first night at college, two days before classes were to start. We got a few cases of beer, some whiskey, vodka, etc..... and decided to have the guys from the floor in our dorm down to sort of get to know them. Well, it turned into a big "I can outdrink you!" kind of thing. Of course since I was "the small town guy" I couldn't let the big city kids drink me under the table.

Well, seemed like a good idea at the time to switch over from the beer to the whiskey about three or four hours into our little get together. By this time it was a full blown party. So........ gotta impress all the guys there you know and well, there were lots of young ladies there who had yet to witness an idiot of my caliber so ...........

Next morning I woke up with my head in a waste basket. Apparently after I finished my fifth of whiskey I went for the peach schnapps. That apparently seemed like a good idea too. On my way to breakfast I was walking across the quad and people I had never met were calling out to me by my nickname and I wondered how the hell they even knew who I was.

No big deal, we've all done stupid shit while drinking, right?

Four years later on the night before we graduated a bunch of us gathered together to reminisce about our times together and talk about what our futures may hold. There were about six of us still there from that first night. One of them, the wild man of the group, brought out his collection of 8 mm films that he had shot over the time we were there. Some really great memories that left us all smiling and sort of wishing that we could live it all over again.

Then he put that last reel on the projector and said, "Hey guys, you all remember this one don't you? Well, maybe all of you don't." Yep, there I was in all my glory from that first night. Nope not just drunk, I was buck ass naked roaming the halls asking everybody I saw if they had any beer for me. Stopped to pose with probably 20 girls while I was out there on my hunt and smiling to beat all hell. Not a care in the world.

So, what seemed like a good idea at the time turned into an "OMFG, did I really do that?" four years later. I'm scared to death that I will someday stumble across that damn clip online.

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

Booger...FUCKING OW!!!!!


That beats the hell out of the time my cousin & I set me on fire trying to make a flamethrower out of a windex bottle filled with gasoline.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

testosterone?
invincibility complex methinks.

(<---has been know to have a bottle rocket battle or two and steal dad's car a few times but i can't say any of it ended up badly. just lucky i guess. )



boog ... no horn? glad you lived to tell.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

This one happened to my wife a few years ago she has more than her share of "Good Ideas" Living in the country we always got peoples dropped off dogs and cats ,at the time we were over ran with 6 mo. old kittens abou 10 of them. We had set out live traps ,tried everything to catch them.Unknowing to me she was in the kitchen one day and found a bottle of Codeine and thinks Hmmm! this puts me to sleep I'll give it to the cats and when they pass out I can catch them!Later that day shes on the front porch and I hear "Well Damn!"I look out just in time to see a kitten go tearing across the yard jump straight up in the air do a flip and hit the ground running,ran up a tree and then fell out!Have you ever seen drunk hyperactive cats? But the look on her face was pure gold!
Over our marraige Chevy has not outdone her on better IDEAS

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The mind never forgets what the hands have learned

Come on Lixy....... we know you have a wild side....... spill it girl!!!

Well nothing life threatening here... but I did grow up on a farm and was a curious fella. So one day while walking around the back 40, I suddenly had to relieve myself. I could have picked any spot in the 250 acres, but seeing the new shiny electric fence, I wondered what would happen if I peed on it................ I think I must have looked like this... >>>>>

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My Only Two Stories Anywhere!

Afternoon Delight

Delightful Rendezvous!

Is the love I gave her in the past, gonna be enough to last, if tomorrow never comes........

[singing]don't wizz on the electric fence[/singing]

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

"So, you wizzed on the electric fence, didn't ya?"

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

I was a young FussyPucker speeding down a hill on my lovely bike when I thought "Wouldn't it be a good idea to test my front break right....NOW?!?" it worked!! This wasn't what entered my head as I went arse over tit and smacked into the road HARD!!

or maybe it was the time I thought it would be a good idea to strip some electrical cable with a 5 inch bladed VERY sharp knife........didn't quite make it down to the bone on two of my fingers and I never did finish stripping that cable.

oh and there was the time when I thought it was a good idea to ride to work on my motorbike when there was a couple of inches of snow and plenty of ice......made it all the way to the last turning and then the bike just slipped from under me........that wasn't so bad but one of the managers was driving behind me at the time and had to swerve and she only missed me by a few inches...

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FussyPucker

There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't...

Sarcasm: It's not big and it's not clever...........but it's funny as fuck!

The Special One!