I'll count that chicken when it hatches in my mail box.

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Whew! For a minute I thought you'd count Flying Monkeys!

I'm just barely old enough to remember the last time they gave us that tax rebate check...I think they expected me to invest it in real estate or something.

As I recall, it just went to paying the bills...

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

I plan on putting it toward the expenses of the new sewer line we have to put in...of course, the expense is much bigger than the check. I really need better luck with plumbing on the houses I buy!

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Life is too short not to love and be loved....preferably multiple times in one night.

I think men talk to women so they can sleep with them and women sleep with men so they can talk to them. ~ Jay McInerney

We need a new mattress. If there's anything left it will go to household expenses. We will hopefully be moving into our own home by that point and I think every knows all the little stupid expenses that pop up when you're moving.

I plan to watch everyone else retrieve them from their mailbox while mine sits empty.

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When you get to the end of your rope, tie a knot and swing.