02-20-2002, 06:53 AM
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Horny Devil
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,495
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yet another
__________________
"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" - Homer Simpson
The sun is gone, but I have a light - Kurt Cobain
~I love Nikki~
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02-20-2002, 06:54 AM
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Horny Devil
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,495
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still another
__________________
"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" - Homer Simpson
The sun is gone, but I have a light - Kurt Cobain
~I love Nikki~
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02-20-2002, 08:36 AM
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~*Forget Me Not*~
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: In hearts gone by....
Posts: 6,756
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__________________
_______________________
*Diva*
"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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02-20-2002, 10:24 PM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 19
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Secrets for a successful marriage
My wife and I have all the secrets for making a marriage last:
1.Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, have a little wine, some good food and companionship. She goes Tuesday and I go Fridays.
2. We also sleep in separate beds. Her's is in Florida and mine is in Cincinnati.
3. I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.
4. I asked my wife where she wanted to go for our anniversary. "Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!" she said. So I suggested the kitchen.
5. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.
6. She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said, "There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!" So I bought her an electric chair.
7. My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn't lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now.
8. She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off.
9. She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, "Am I too late for the garbage?" The driver said, "No, jump in!"
10. Remember.... Marriage is the number one cause of divorce.
11. Statistically, 100% of all divorces started with marriage.
12. I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her first name was Always.
13. I haven't spoken to my wife for 18 months. I don't like to interrupt her.
14. The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, "What's on the TV?"...
I said dust.
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02-20-2002, 10:26 PM
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Junior Member
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Atlantic Canada
Posts: 19
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Confession
An elderly Italian man asked the local priest to hear his confession:
"Father, during WW2 a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans. I hid her in my attic."
The priest replied, "That was a wonderful thing you did and you have no need to confess."
"It's worse, Father. I was weak and told her she must repay me with her sexual favors."
"You were both in great danger and would have suffered terribly if the Germans had found her. God, in his wisdom and mercy will balance the good and the evil and judge you kindly. You are forgiven."
"Thank you, Father, That's a great load off my mind. I have one more question."
"And what is that,?" asked the priest.
The old man replied, "Should I tell her the war is over?"
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02-21-2002, 07:58 AM
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Horny Devil
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,495
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ok.  I haven't been here that long u know.
__________________
"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" - Homer Simpson
The sun is gone, but I have a light - Kurt Cobain
~I love Nikki~
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02-21-2002, 08:10 AM
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~*Forget Me Not*~
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: In hearts gone by....
Posts: 6,756
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That's ok Legend..I was just teasing   ...I know there are ALOT of pages to go through to see what was posted already...
__________________
_______________________
*Diva*
"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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02-21-2002, 08:33 AM
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Horny Devil
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,495
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Diva - has an aimated gif pic about the real reason for beer bellies been posted? I'll put it up if it hasn't.
__________________
"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" - Homer Simpson
The sun is gone, but I have a light - Kurt Cobain
~I love Nikki~
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02-21-2002, 08:36 AM
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~*Forget Me Not*~
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: In hearts gone by....
Posts: 6,756
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__________________
_______________________
*Diva*
"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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02-21-2002, 08:41 AM
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Horny Devil
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,495
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well it doesn't matter anyway, cause the file is too big 
__________________
"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" - Homer Simpson
The sun is gone, but I have a light - Kurt Cobain
~I love Nikki~
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02-21-2002, 08:42 AM
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~*Forget Me Not*~
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: In hearts gone by....
Posts: 6,756
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LMAO
__________________
_______________________
*Diva*
"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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02-21-2002, 08:45 AM
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Horny Devil
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Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Australia
Posts: 3,495
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you mock me..... 
__________________
"I am so smart! S-M-R-T!" - Homer Simpson
The sun is gone, but I have a light - Kurt Cobain
~I love Nikki~
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02-21-2002, 07:56 PM
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~*Forget Me Not*~
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: In hearts gone by....
Posts: 6,756
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I like the bar stools...
__________________
_______________________
*Diva*
"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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02-21-2002, 07:57 PM
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~*Forget Me Not*~
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: In hearts gone by....
Posts: 6,756
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Will men never learn???
__________________
_______________________
*Diva*
"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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02-21-2002, 07:59 PM
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~*Forget Me Not*~
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: In hearts gone by....
Posts: 6,756
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__________________
_______________________
*Diva*
"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
Ludwig van Beethoven (1770-1827)
"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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