so you say she is a hot 20 year old asian and she's a virgin.


hmmm.....i'm liking it.

sorry, back to the seriousness of the thread

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hungry? why wait.....eat me.

yep that's it Merc. 20 yr old virgin. Very nice girl.

__________________
My stories
An erotic story
The instructor and student
Secretary learns how to take a dicktation
The story of sister stephanie

Don't make me come over there and spank your monkey!

Oh wait...MM might love that. Ya know, I might love that too! So, what was my point?

*giggle*

Back to our original, "serious" thread!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

so what else do i have to do to get you to bring your sexy-self over?

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hungry? why wait.....eat me.

Lixy, the problem is she that all the info she has is from what she learnt at school in sex ed. She knows diddly squat about any of it.

(Ok she knows that this has to go in there for that to happen). She is leaving it all up to me to figure out. By that I mean she is expecting me to know all the answers for every thing. So I sent her here. I got her to read something and she left the site. As I said she is very shy and curious at the same time. So I am doing what I can.

Sex sites are useless because they show just sex. Pixies is far better for advice on these touchy and often sensitive matter's.

Sharni has also asked her to come here. I asked Sharni to have a chat with her via msn but unfortunately sharni fell asleep. Sharni has also voiced her opinion to me.

__________________
My stories
An erotic story
The instructor and student
Secretary learns how to take a dicktation
The story of sister stephanie

Here's a site that I've visited when I was curious about specific womanly topics. I got the impression the site was written by women for women. It may not prepare her for losing her virginity, but it might help her to better understand and explore her sexual self.... the text can be very blunt and straight forward. I recommended leaving the site with her and letting her explore privately at her own pace. I'm not sure how you gave Pixies to her, but she may need the comfort of privacy to get started in exploration.

My Vagina

Try a search for “virgin” here at Pixies.

A lot of honest and insightful experience related in these pages.

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there are myriad “sex-sites” out there. there are sites that explain it, sites that advocate it, or defile it, condemn it, edify it, exploit it and critique it. you’re not looking in the right places i think. i recommend you begin with links from places like planned parenthood here in the us. or a google search with the right key words. eduxcation can only be a good thing, so explore away together but as for how to go about the business of wooing her…i don't believe that you need woo a virgin any differently than you'd woo a prostitute or a widow or a college freshman or your adolescent crush.

to woo, or at least the connotation i get from the word, implies romance and emotion, not one-night-stands and fuck-buddies, meaning that you pretty much gotta wing it. courtship is a subtle yet dynamic dance. you can never push but never draw away. never judge but never see their blunders as meaningless. never force but you can’t be ineffectual, either. it’s a conundrum, and one that you must work out between you. she’s pretty much the only one that can give you the tools you need to unlock her sexuality. you said you two are already friends. gives you a one-up on most!

i gahtered from what you said that for her, her virginity is something precious. plus she’s skittish to boot. very very very different from the girl last week, so you should treat her accordingly. relationships don’t usually start with sex, sex is a sometime-down-the-road benefit. and even then, besides the obvious physical, there are so many pathways you walk to traverse the whole “mind game” that is emotional sex (meant not in that phrase’s manipulative sense but to express the fact that emotionally charged sexual relationships involve so much more of the brain than just the sating of lust on an available body). i can only hope your emotions involved are something more than selfish, they seem like they could be...

…and as to that issue this thread has dredged up, the issue of your intentions toward this woman and how you think of women generally, which should not be ignored as it is part and parcel of asking for advice. —and I want to inject here that i do not think anyone was unduly harsh, even for pixies— rest assured that there are those, even those who have been members for a long while, who have received advice that was unfavorable or unwanted. it’s what happens when you put yourself out there. there is no accounting for people’s tastes and you have zero control over the outcome. it is only your own input that you can control. but, and this is a big but, as long as anyone can think of sex as the remarkably wonderful consequence of life it is and not as something that should be tallied, debased or denigrated, i find the people here raect as an accepting, supportive and honest lot.

~funny thing: pixies are totally willing to be used and played with… as a free, living and breathing diorama of sexually charged people behaving in exactly those ways.

here it is as i see it —and i’m gonna get a bit harsh here— i have read some of your comments with the sarcasm you intended, quite a few actually…and I get that…that can be funny, but quite a few of your (notice the emphasis on ‘your’) choices of phrase were also churlish in nature and flippant at best. when describing something, personally i’d go with fact over ribald humor. specifically, in your case, andrew dice clay style one-liners. if i could apply a voice to you or draw a caricature of you, so to speak, I would label it ‘player’, or—more harshly still—‘player wannabe’ and a player, to my mind, is a walking metaphor for the full and complete list of what not to do.

but at times you can be guileless and thoughtful . the word woo, for instance. i took that at total face value. it’s a sweet word so you must have sweetness in you. the simple fact that here you are, back again, trying to explain yourself without going on the attack. i believe you when you say you realise she needs time. i’m going to go out on a limb here and say that you’re still a bit confused as to how you want to express your own sexuality. which, by the way, is not a bad thing. you remind me so much of my younger brother. he can tell me, all in the same breath, that he respects women (and mean it on a very real level) and that he would fuck that chick on tv…”if she had a bag over her head!” when I point out the polar differences to him he says it’s guy thing, he’s just bein’ funny. what I think? all he needs is to accept some guidance on the subject.


the written word.
i completely agree that emotional intention is nearly impossible to convey in a conversation that takes place on virtual paper,…even with the smiles …i confess i have agonized over a turn of phase before, myself and i have posted things that i wish i could take bakck but my chance has gone. no-one can ever understand what it is like to read their own words without knowing, firsthand, the intended delivery~where the drummer would improvise the rim-shot. you, yourself, misread a post or two on this very thread. got your back up a bit over something meant only in consideration. it happens.

when all else fails and it’s going down the toilet, be respectful and you can’t go wrong.

the cool part about forums is that you have allllll the time in the world to figure out how you wanna say something. but there comes a point at which the sum of all the parts will equal an irrefutable whole and whom you have shown yourself to be cannot be undone by a few poorly wordeded sentences. (i have always thought that there should be an etiquette sticky to give us all the skinny before we plunge blindly ahead ) so as i see it you can either a.)choose your words carefully and if it’s a joke make sure it’s obvious or b.)inoculate us with your sense of humor until everyone finally gets it and put up with the ire you may bestir along the way. to be your whole self or a version of yourself…. a very profound decision indeed. for my part, i got a taste of this and i almost blew it. i recommend you compromise. be who you are in real life if real life allowed you to show a naked picture of yourself or voice an intimate thought and no-one had a single nasty thing to say about it and somebody even asked if you might be able to baby-sit their kids tomorrow.

just like anywhere…there will be people you like and people you don’t. there will be people who don’t like you, either. tragically, there is no law that states everyone must be friends. and, yes lixy told it true, we take the advice forum quite seriously

errr….*flips up her skirt and wiggles her ass in due penance for this post’s garrulous nature…and all the big words*

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

this is the last time i pop into the advice column after smoking a pre-simcity joint.

__________________
Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

IF an etiquette sticky ever does get made, I've got one vote right here that wyhndhy's post get made a part of it. That was wonderful.

To take my own stab at answering the question I imagine was intended, and I am sorry if I'm getting it wrong, if my partner was less adventurous than I was....but curious about the big, wide sexy world out there....I'd say you were doing it wrong, actually. I don't mean that badly...but as much as I do love that everyone's got their own kink, it can be pretty intimidating at first. Rather than try to convince her that cum-baths are perfectly healthy or deep-throating really is a blast (not saying those are what you're focusing on, truthfully I don't know what you're focusing on)...you've got to follow her lead. Find what interests her, or what turns her on. Not by taking her to a smorgasbord of sex and saying "choose my dearest, it's all good", but rather by listening to what she comes up with herself. At first that might be more focused on romantic vanilla sex....under a moon, or in front of a fire, or coming home and finding your SO in formal wear with a rose between their teeth. Classics that still turn my crank, but before I broadened my horizons THAT'S what I wanted. I worked my way into the rest of it slowly, and at my own pace, one step at a time.

I know you've said that she wants you to lead, but leading in the sense of pulling her along may not be right. And from what you've said, it doesn't appear to be working. Instead of trying to lecture her about all the good stuff out there, teach in the sense of a parent....holding her hands, keeping her steady and safe, while she teaches herself to walk. You've got a son, you remember what that was all about, right?

It may be a year before she decides she's ready. That's fine. It may be twice that before she wants to go for kink. You have to let that be ok too. Cause one of the things I've seen go wrong with my friends when they were starting to be sexual is that in order to impress/keep the more experienced men they were inevitably falling for...they tried to run before they could walk. They went for kink and technique to proove that they were "real women" and it shouldn't ever have been necessary.

And that's enough for me. Hope this helps some. Really, it is just a reiteration of what came before...but I couldn't help putting in my 2cents.

G

And on that note I say lets move on.

Seems everything that can be said has been.

There must be something else we can talk about......

Well well. This is going well. Thank you ginger and wyndy for your very helpful insights.

Just a bit more about me. I am a leo and also a hopeless romantic when it comes to girls. I dote my time and attention on them and sure I get a slap in the face along the way. (who hasn't?)

I know this will contradict what I once said before but I'll also explain that as well.
Because I am a hopeless romantic and the right girl comes along as is in this case, I cross my t's and dot my i's accordingly. I don't rush anything nor do I take things for granted. Sure she wants to open her doors (so to speak) and try new things, but she will need guidance and I am more than capable of doing that. When she is ready then I get a stirring suspicion that I'll be the first to know.

Now the contradiction that I mentioned. In one of my previous threads and posts I have talked about this girl Krystal. Now the sad fact was she just wanted to have sex so she was no longer a virgin.

It actually goes against my character, yeah I'll probably get shot again here. And as I said before she was all over me like a bad habbit making it very clear as to what she wanted. (And they say that guys can't control themselves) So being a guy I did the only natural thing. Now I should have said no or this is not the way I go about things.

Amy was a different case. Her and I clicked from the word go,I know that we had sex but it wasn't rushed or prefabricated. It just happened in a, (for a better or worse word) normal way.

Now as far as me being an egotistical male as I may have portrayed myself in the past, I don't see women as sex objects nor do I wish too. Sure I may think about bonking a girl but that is only a thought. (like anyone it's human nature to think that of the opposite sex)

Those that take the time to get to know me in here will also see my unique and often very funny sense of humour. I have indicated a "joke" here in brackets to hopefully get the correct meaning without getting blasted again.

__________________
My stories
An erotic story
The instructor and student
Secretary learns how to take a dicktation
The story of sister stephanie

Good grief! You long winded posters need to put cliff's notes at the bottom or something for us small minded tools who can't comprehend it all!!!

Just kidding...much love thrown out to some very sound thinking

I love reading your post's wyndhy...but my ADD kicked in big time! Thank goodness you said something about big butts, cause it helped get me back on track again!

Mark - you are paying the price for the tone you inadvertently set with your first posts. Had you been more elaborate with the details, as you did above, everyone may have had a better understanding of where you're coming from. Referring to intercourse with the previous virgin as a Mercy Fuck labled you someone with no respect for women. Outlining the circumstances as you just have, indicates that you did something that brings the respect you have for yourself into question. We've all made mistakes. Recognizing them and learning from them helps shape us into better people. We only have what you tell us to figure out who you are. And knowing who you are helps us to answer your questions.

Speaking of your question...from what I can determine, you are dating a virgin that seems sexually curious at times but because of her upbringing, is inhibited and unknowledgable in intimate matters. She has expressed this to you and requested that you help her explore the world of sex so that when she is comfortable with the idea of intercourse...she can enter into the experience with an informed mind, and ready to have fun. As part of your crusade for information to present her with, you have enlisted the aid of Pixies. Well, I can tell you that there aren't many places out there that can help anyone become informed with the idea of sex better than Pixies can. But it's not through us answering your questions that she will benefit, but through wandering around previous posts (as PF suggested) and by asking her own. In my opinion...the best thing you can do to help her is to send her the link.


I'm wildirish...and I approve of this message.

Well WI I take a bow to you my man. I also hope that my explaining myself better this time round get's me on a better track with those here.

__________________
My stories
An erotic story
The instructor and student
Secretary learns how to take a dicktation
The story of sister stephanie