HE: Wanna dance?
SHE: No!
HE: then nevermind my fucking proposal

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My invention of the phonograph does not have any commercial value

Thomas Alva Edison

hi iam a practasing homosexual want to make me perfect
this did work on me

this one actually worked for a Tall, Dark Handsome friend of mine:

"I'm a male lesbian....wanna new girlfriend?"

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"Quando Flunkus Moritatii" (I'm a man, but I can change, if I have to, I guess.) - the Red Green Show



The best thing about taking a vacation, is all the heartfelt huggs received upon your return. - Murphy

"The more you love, the more you CAN love. There's no limit to how much you can love - or how many" Lazarus Long in "Time Enough for Love" - Robert A. Heinlein

I knew a guy who would walk up to two girls and say to one

'do you want to dance?'
when she said 'yes' he said 'well go on - I want to talk to your friend'

that's just mean!

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adults are just children who owe money

"This way please...or do you want to dance before?"

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If every material thing is gone, my smile and my tears stay left.

I may not be the best looking guy in this place but I'm the only one talking to you.

I'm fighting the urge to make you the happiest woman on the face of the earth tonight.

Is that a ladder in your pants or just the stairway to heaven?

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Would you cater to every fantasy I've got? Would you hose me down with holy water if I get to hot? Can you take me places I've never known?

Sucks, Fucks & Kisses

You might not be the best looking woman in the place but beauty is only a light switch away.

If it's true we are what we eat I could be you by morning.

You know - if I were you - I'd have sex with me.

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Would you cater to every fantasy I've got? Would you hose me down with holy water if I get to hot? Can you take me places I've never known?

Sucks, Fucks & Kisses

A couple I heard my mates use regularly a few years back were:

"Do you want to sit on my face and breakdance??"

or

"my tongue is leaving in 5 minutes, be on it!"

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If love is bad then I`m EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok a better one (or worse) is:

guy :wow !! what a fabulous dress !!
girl:thx!
guy :but it would better on the floor beside my bed!

or

hey baby wanna make a baby

worst hi iam hung like a horse want a ride
or hi iam hung like rino want to play with my horn

this rose is pale next to your beauty(then give them the rose)
that is one of my lines what do you think

another your eyes are so deep i may drown in them

Geez, some of these lines make me appreciate the "moldy oldies" like "Do you come here often?" or "What's your sign?" or "Are you new around here?"

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"They that can give up essential liberty to obtain a little temporary safety deserve neither liberty nor safety" Benjamin Franklin
*******************
My Stories:
Dream Date
Just Desserts
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 1
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 2
Internet Lovers Meet - Part 3
RAVISHED!!
My Birthday - A Fantasy

yeah but i have one thats totally confusing, what should girls answer this:

"fuck me if i am wrong but u want to kiss me"

hahahaha

Hi, I'm a necrophiliac, how good are you at playing dead?

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____________
Nubian

Ok I don't feel like searching thru all the posts...but here is one I laugh about......

Do you believe in love at first sight, or should I walk by again?

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~~Life is sexually transmitted and always fatal~~

~~Reality bites but thats what life is~~

This happened just last week when I was walking from my car into work in my little waiting uniform.

"Ooooh baby, you are makin my heart buuuuurn!"

I walked inside and said to the bartender:
"You know, I always thought heartburn was a BAD thing!"

Let's see though, cheesy lines I've used recently on my boyfriend for a laff:
(said in little girl lost voice) I dwopped my lollypop, do you have anything I can suck on?
I have an oral fixation, do you have anything I can put in my mouth?
It's too bad you have a thing about handcuffs, cause I'd like to handcuff you to a bed and lick you all over for hours.

One I heard on tv recently:
After tonight you will be walking sideways for the rest of your life, because I will have used ALL your up and down.
Or, my new favorite from Ally:
I contract just LOOKING at you.

Thanks for all the suggestions! We're both actors and there's a point in the show we're doing on stage when I lean in and whisper in his ear. Won't he be surprised to hear all these great lines?

panacea