During my dinner with Murphy and Sugarsprinkles.... we discussed whether or not us "Pixies" share the exsistence of this place with those in our lives.

So.. my question for everyone tonight is...

Do you tell those in your life (spouses, lovers, friends, etc) about this place that we are all so fond of? If so, do you bring them here to share it with them? If not why? And if you don't tell them about this place... why?

I won't tell Sugar's or Murphy's answer (I will allow them to do that on there own)... but I will share my own... Altho I am currently not in a relationship.. I have absolutely no doubt in my mind that I would share this with a man that I cared about? Why? Well.. because I think sharing this with them would give them a more complete understanding of who I am... I do tell friends about this place... and none of my close friends are at all surprised that I feel so comfortable here. This is part of who I am.... the sexual part of me is more open here... and I have every intention of having that openness in my next relationship.

so your thoughts?

She has seen the addy in my "history" file and asked me once, "do you talk to these people"????
I said yes, and tried to explain but she would not listen any further. I regard that as the greatest lost opportunity we have ever had. I still come here, but delete the entry in the "history" file. I have no doubt that she knows I still come here, or I know she could easily find out if she wanted to. But at least I don't get anymore negative comments. I wish she would give me what I get here, openness, adventurousness, enthusiasm and inventiveness. <Sigh>

BORU

Boru...

I imagine that many do not know... and probably for good reason... many may fear having to choose between the two... and naturally the partner would win out... and then others may not tell out of fear of being ridiculed...

When I find myself in a relationship again... my partner will not be at all surprised to find that I come here (and to similar things)... if I am not comfortable sharing that part of myself with him I don't think he will be worth my time. Altho I can see how if finding this place after being in a relationship for any period of time it might be difficult to introduce them to the idea....

Yes, of course my wife knows that I go here! I mean, it IS bookmarked on OUR computer. It isn't her "thing" to be here, but she has no problem with me being here. We were best friends before getting married, and still are after all these years!

yes, my wife knows i go here. i showed her this site when i posted my pics. she thinks its pretty cool

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thank you ma'am, may i have another?

Hhhhhmmmmmm experience has taught me that when asked about places such as this and the people I associate with via the net that the end result will be a big guilt trip....

Therefore I don't believe in volunteering anything....lol. If asked I answer honestly and try to downplay it as much as possible.

LOL.... I've also learned don't smile at the computer screen the appearance of having too much fun is like waving a red flag. Better to mumble and cuss a lil so they think you're having the usual run about of trouble surfing and they seem much more content.

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"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. " -William Dement

yes gary knows all about what i do here

The only person in my life that I can share Pixies with is my friend ASH, who is also a member. We do not discuss it in front of others and we try to keep it on the down low. Put it this way.....People in Trussville, Alabama are the biggest prudes that you will ever meet. It is a town of money and the people are entirely stuck on themselves.

*Clint

1st of all Jennaflower this is an excellent thread...and it has caused me much thought in the preceding days...To Tell...hmm...My S/O does not know about this site or that I visit it and I have mulled over telling her again and again, I wouldnt call my S/O a prude but I would say she is less than open minded...and frankly I have an addiction to the getaway this site gives and to be honest there are some fantastic souls here to talk with...so I ask myself everytime I get ready to tell her, what if she says she doesnt like me coming here, I would have to stop and I would miss it...I just dont know...

What do you think Jennaflower??

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Love...the slowest form of suicide.

yep skip.. I imagine that many have the same reasoning for not sharing the information... and like I said.. if discovering this place AFTER the relationship has been established I imagine it would be very tough to share "Hey honey, I was horny today and during my search for stimulation on the net I came across this wonderful place. Come Look". I imagine that many significant others wouldn't be too comfortable with that.

However, I have to wonder... for those of you who don't share the info... is that okay? I mean... are you not giving your partner enough credit? They love you... right? They already (should) know what stimulates you and turns you on... and if that is the case.... do you really think they would be surprised that you enjoy this place? Is it that you are afraid of being forced to give this wonderful place up? Or just being ridiculed for your choice of stimulation.

Just being devils advocate here.... Maybe I am naive... maybe I still have the illusion that love means sharing those things that you enjoy... I just can't imagine not sharing this and similar things with a partner...

My last relationship started online.... he read one of my stories on a site and e-mailed me... so he knew up front the sexual being that I was and understood that I enjoyed places like this where I could express and explore my deepest sexual desires. Granted, it was unique in that he knew going in to the relationship... and often relationships don't start that way.

I am wishful (or stupid) enough to believe that in my next relationship... if he doesn't trust me enough to know that what I do here is harmless... if he isn't smart enough to know that this place helps to educate me and explore my deepest desires... if I don't love him enough to be honest with him and share it with him... then maybe I shouldn't be wasting my time with him to begin with. (Keep in mind that the reason I personally feel this way is because I lived in a completely sexless and loveless marriage and swore to myself that I would rather be lonely alone than lonely with someone else). I am in no way condeming anyones decision not to tell their significant other... I do understand why in some relationships that would be difficult and could result in damage.

Thus explains why I am alone... LOLOLOL Please remember I am acting as devils advocate here... LOL

Well my ex knows I come here and she despised it from the start without even looking. She is virtually computer illiterate and is very distrustful of people that you cant see face to face fearing deception.

But the open mindedness and close friendships I have made here with totally genuine people has really made my life happier.

Life is full of so many "shoulds" and I suppose if this were a perfect world there wouldn't be any question of sharing everything.

I've found for many people the net satisfies a need , whether it be sexual or intellectual or emotional.... I mean we're all online for something right. As time goes on people change and grow. Their opinions and interests change, and it's rare that two individuals will grow in the same direction in all things thru the years. It's only natural that people are drawn to spend time or talk to others who share their interests. Besides being with a carbon copy of yourself every day sounds so boring....lol

But often the knowledge that your partner is sharing part of themself with someone else can breed insecurity or fear especially in a partner who doesn't understand that interest. When a person feels their partner is drifting from them in their interests it can cause fear. When that interest is sexual or emotional it can cause the s/o to feel threatened in the relationship thereby causing waves of discontent, when all along the act itself was innocent. But for anyone who has pleaded their case to a partner and been met with a look of disgust or mistrust it becomes difficult to share as time goes by.

LOL... and I know for myself I am too easily guilted and for the sake of a relationship I have given up playgrounds in the past and stopped writing erotica online etc....

It just seems easier to do my thing and not advertise it so to speak.... I answer honestly when questioned but I no longer invite my s/o to come to my "playgrounds"

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"Dreaming permits each and every one of us to be quietly and safely insane every night of our lives. " -William Dement

Of course my gf knows I come here.

I show her pics of the hot chicks!!

-SC

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Do you come here often?

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"Beware how you take away hope from another human being."
-Oliver Wendell Holmes

and once again Prophet... I am not surprised that you and I share a very similar opinion on this