Friend of mine sent me this and I found it pretty funny, I'll share some with y'all...

1. Why did god create man than woman?

Well you gotta have a rough draft before the final copy.

2. Why does it take a million sperm to fertalize one egg?

They don't stop to ask for directions.

3. Why are men smarting during sex?

Well they are plugged into a genius

Feel free to add to the list heheh.

Those were cute. Here is my contribution.


One day int he Garden of Eden, Eve called out to God, "Lord, I have a problem."

"What's the problem, Eve?"

"I know that you created me and provided me this beautiful garden and all of these wonderful animals, as well as that hilarious snake, but I'm just not happy."

"And why is that Eve?"

"Lord, I am lonely, and I'm sick to death of apples."

"Well Eve, in that case, I have a solution. I shall create a man for you."

"What is that Lord?"

"It will be a flawed creature with many bad traits. He'll lie, cheat, and be vain; all in all, he'll give you a hard time. But, he'll be bigger, faster, and will like to hunt and kill things. He will look silly when he is aroused, but since you've been complaining, I'll create him in such a way that he will satisfy your physical needs. He will be witless and will revel in childish things like fighting and kicking a ball about. He won't be too smart, so he will also need your advice to think properly."

"Sounds great," said Eve, with ironically raised eyebrows, "but what's the catch, Lord?"

"Well, you can have him on one condition."

"And what is that Lord?"

"As I said, he'll be proud, arrogant, and self-admiring...so you'll have to let him beleive that I made him first. And it will have to be our little secret. You know woman to woman."

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DAMN, YOU ARE A SEXY ONE-skipthisone

I beleive in the sweet spot, soft-core pornography, opening your presents Christmas morning rather than Christmas Eve, and I beleive in long, slow, deep, soft, wet kisses that last three days. Kevin Costner/Bull Duram

"Your body as well as mine has needs. This is juat a little foreplay to highten our desire for each other. If we play out the game of love to it's natural conclusion, you'll experience fulfillment. Give yourself up to me and I'll guide you along the path to pareadise. Together we will be like fire and ice, love and hate, life and death." Virginia Henley

WANTED: a moment when you kiss someone and eveything around you becomes hazy. And the only thing in focus is you and this person and you relize that he is the only person your suppose to kiss for the rest of your life. And for one moment you get this amazing gift. You want to laugh and you want to cry. Cause you feel so lucky that you found it and so scared it will all go away at the same time.

A husband is living proof that a wife can take a joke.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Why do men whistle while they sit on a toliet?
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.

Why do only 10 percent of men end up in heaven?
Because if they all went it would be hell.

How can you tell when a man is well hung?
When you can just barely fit youir finger between his neck and the rope.

Why do jocks play on artificial turf?
To keep them from grazing.

Why do little boys whine?
Because they are practising to be men.

Why do men love smart women?
Because opposites attract.

What do you call a man with half a brain?
Gifted.

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they are born?
To knock the penises off the smart ones.

.....for all the men LOL

Sometimes women amaze me. This is what the real answers should be.

Your favorite men bashing jokes?

1. Why did god create man than woman?

God made man first so he could get all of womans holes in the right spots.

2. Why does it take a million sperm to fertalize one egg?

Just in case woman changes her mind AGAIN.

3. Why are men smarting during sex?

Because they know they found someone else they could fuck.

Feel free to add to the list heheh.
Women say the darnest things.
:jump:

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"Share your Wife so other men can enjoy her too"

[QUOTE=Cjack]Sometimes women amaze me. [QUOTE]


....and rightfully so

Hey, I resemble those remarks

What is the difference between a husband and a boyfriend?

about 45 min.

So I have to stick with the old saying... can't live with em' can't live without em'

I must say I enjoy my boy friends a lot more than the time I spend with my girl friends... maybe cause I enjoy flirting... and the same sex doesn't take to well to it... LOL

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~Kaelynn~

Some days life can be shitty , some days life can be outstanding ;
Sometimes you find love , sometimes you find fun ;

Just remember through all these changes you are you, special and unique...

Just a reminder to those who are like me and need it...

WARNING: POTENTIALLY OFFENSIVE
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Why should all women get thrush before they marry?

So they can get used to the idea of living with an irritating cunt

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I want to know everything
I want to be everywhere
I want to fuck everyone in the world
I want to do something that matters