I was wondering if someone could give me some advice about a problem I am having? Initially, I noticed a change in my sexual respones, but denied I actually "had a problem." I have been using "toys" for quite a while. When my boyfriend started having to work longer hours due to his job being understaffed, I began to use them more and more. I was not always successful acheiving orgasm with my boyfriend, occassionally it was a "hit & miss" type situation. But I have ALWAYS acheived it with one toy or the other. I have started using them almost daily. Now I am having trouble either getting aroused or maintaining lubrication when I am with my boyfriend. I realize it is because he cannot move like my toys nor does he feel the same. What should I do? Although I know it is the toys, I cannot seem to "break the habit" of reaching for them....and he's beginning to wonder about what's going on....HELP!

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If you can't be good.....be good at it!

One suggestion would be to let him use the toys on you.

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Only one answer......... put the toys away... I have found that it is harder to get off during sex after a spell of using toys more frequently. Just make the choice to not use the toys...use your hand or have sex but take a break from the things with a motor...no guys can keep up

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

I think that introducing him to their use is the ultimate solution.. the best of both worlds I think that toys should be a regular feature in a healthy sexual relationship.. not only for the female's pleasure.. but just as much for the males. Hopefully, by using them, he will realize that they aren't meant as a replacement.. just an extension (excuse the pun).

I wish it were that easy....he is the competitive "manly man" type. He looks at toys as a replacement, and feels that if I am satisfied with him...why do I need them?

__________________
If you can't be good.....be good at it!

he will continue to feel that way... UNTIL he is introduced to them.. then he may have a different view.

I have tried....he threw the first few toys away. We'd talked about it before, and he said no to the idea. So I figured after a "hot & heavy session of kissing, fondling, etc....maybe I could incorporate them into further foreplay. He was totally offended. He doesn't like to try new or different things. I love him and don't want to leave him (we've been together for several years) but I cannot continue to be sexually unsatisfied. He knows that I am not satisfied because I will not "pretend" or "fake it" for his ego. I try to tell him tactfully that we are just on two totally different sexual levels......my patience is wearing out...........

__________________
If you can't be good.....be good at it!

I think you identified the problem right there. Different sexual levels is something that is very difficult to change.. especially if one of the partners is unwilling to grow.

HUGS.

So, does this mean we should give up EVEN THE ELECTRIC TOOTHBRUSH while in a relationship?!?!

STEPH!!!!!!!!!!! OMG!!!!!!!! are you serious!!!!!!!!!!
hehehe......
But would he know..........I'm sure just like everyone else.....he would think it was just a plain old toothbrush......not a mega sex machine as we see our toothbrushes........LOL....

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~ Nikki ~

"In love there are no rules".......Bono

OK when I posted, my understanding was that hotgirl4u2nite was referring to a problem caused by overstimulation by toys..... that is a physiological dilemma and my advice remains the same.

However, there seems to be alot more going on aside from the stimulation problem. If he is unwilling to listen and attempt to understand your needs, wants, and desires, do you think this will get better in a couple more years?????? Not likely........

And I certainly don't think anyone needs to give up anything when involved in a relationship...God forbid your OralB!......

__________________

The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

I completely agree with Lilith. Nothing to add.

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If every material thing is gone, my smile and my tears stay left.

LOL Nikki and Lilith. I'm glad to hear we can keep . . . brushing! I'm about to join my b/f after a month apart and I think I'll stop with the toys for the next week to see what happens.

I'm new to this forum, but after reading the posts I think toys can be fun if both partners use them together. Personally though I would be a little intimidated if she was using a dildo to satisfy herself inside of my cock inside of her. But I know I would adapt to the situation and hopefully I would have a lot of fun with it - sliding a nice dildo in and out of her...