Here's something you can try at home and report back... I found it to be entertaining.

THE ANCIENT ART OF PENIS READING
A GUIDE FOR WOMEN CRYSTAL BALLS NOT INCLUDED

The art of Penis Reading reveals man's inner nature... just the way palm reading does (but much more fun!)

Want to know if he's a keeper? Will he be good in bed? Is he likely to stray? The penis knows all and tells all - from hidden talents to favorite indulgences. If you want to know a man, get to know his penis. Astroglide uncovers secret knowledge, based on ancient Vedic legends as revealed in Tantra, Shaman, and Gypsy lore.

"IF A MAN'S EYES ARE THE MIRROR OF HIS SOUL, THEN HIS PENIS IS THE PERISCOPE."

For as long as the human race has existed, we have searched for clues to self-awareness, and the human body itself is often the key to unlocking the mysteries of the soul. Only to those who possess the knowledge and understanding, will the body reveal its secrets.

Teachers of the Indian practice of Tantra have long understood the mystical link between body and spirit, between sexuality and spirituality. The shamans of tribal cultures around the world understand that the physical form holds truths that can reveal a person's true nature. And today, the old arts of palmistry, phrenology and the interpretation of moles are well-known.

But to really know the man, it's necessary to understand the thousand-year-old art of Penis Reading.

Step 1: Determine Penis Size

Length of Erect Penis

Large 7.25”
Average 6.20”
Small 5.75”

Girth of Erect Penis

Large 5.50”
Average 4.75”
Small 4.00”

Step 2: Determine Penis Type

The Club:
Noticeably longer and thicker than average, with heavy pigmentation and little tapering. Testes are low-hanging, dark-colored and heavy.

· Lots of stamina during lovemaking
· Slightly inhibited in bed, unless otherwise directed, will always pick the missionary position
· Possesses strength and determination. Knows what he wants and usually gets it
· Not commitment shy-makes a faithful husband and lover
· Enjoys the outdoors; prefers more physical sports (football, soccer-to golf)
· Honest and straightforward

Hidden Talents: Gardening and Dancing
Best love match: A woman who adores his unreconstructed maleness. Cook for him and give him a comfortable home, and a Club male will never stray.
Indulgences: Down comforters, roaring fires, Czech beer

The Javelin:
Long, slender, well proportioned penis, light in color, with a shaft that tapers from base to tip and high, firm testicles. Javelins frequently have a pronounced curve to the right or left, but the shape overall is slim and elegant.

· A natural leader, a quick thinker who can take decisive action
· A connoisseur with sophisticated tastes in food, wine and women
· Success-oriented and ambitious, may place more importance on his career than his romances
· Imaginative, uninhibited lover
· May be quick to anger, argumentative
· Enjoys flirtations and frequently succumbs to temptation
· Commitment-shy-great for flings, but a risk for long-term relationships

Hidden Talents: Carpentry, languages
Best Love Match: An independent woman with her own career. If you're elusive, he's persistent. Entice him with your cool unavailability, your sophisticated love-making.
Indulgences: Veuve Cliquot Rich Reserve, Japanese erotic woodcuts, Prada knits.

The Millstone:
Shorter than average, but unusually thick, with a wide head. Testes are large, pendulous and rough-textured.

· Values friendship more than success or money;
· Can be stubborn; defies logic and reasoning when clinging to an established point of view
· Great with kids-instinctively knows how to hold a baby or talk to a sulky teenager
· Family-oriented
· Convivial and generous-a warm, welcoming host
· A creative, inventive lover who aims to please

Hidden talents: Sewing (especially petit point), tennis
Best Love Match: A woman who gets along with his buddies. If you enjoy spur-of-the moment dinner parties, huge family gatherings, and don't mind cooking Thanksgiving dinner every year, he's your guy.
Indulgences: Entertaining friends and family on a grand scale; crisp, white bed linen; aquavit encased in ice.

The Dart:
Somewhat smaller and thinner than average, and light color. Texture is smooth, with pale, firm testicles.

· Can be a "mighty mite" between the sheets;
· Intensely competitive;
· The most in touch with his feminine side of all penis types;
· Excellent at communicating. This is a man you can talk to;
· Quick to anger, but seldom holds a grudge;
· A short attention span-enjoys changing jobs, cities, women.

Hidden Talents: Music (loves karaoke night at the local pub!),closet organizing
Best Love Match: A confident, feminine woman who wants a friend and lover. To keep him interested, don't reveal yourself all at once-let him know you have unexplored depths and he'll keep looking for more.
Indulgences: Gin & Tonic with lots of lime; hot sun, white beaches, blue water; back rubs.


Have fun! Let me know if you need help... I'd be happy to oblige with a reading.

__________________

I'm thinking I need help on this one.

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

I possess some very well obscured latent talents that may be near improbable to determine in the Penis Reading method. I would very much appreciate a Penis Reader helping me to know myself and helping humanity also to get to know me. One at a time or in groups will be fine!

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I like; a) taint brushing: b) a good cigar: c) our juices together; d) champagne: e) protein squirts; f)more of these; g)much more of these; h) Damn, slide that thing into me. Deep!
Adage: 2 things are certain in life; Death & Taxes. Therefore; God & Beelzebub had a meeting to fix the problem. A mighty storm prevailed for ages until finally they ended the storm with the agreement: From now on Anyone whom chooses doesn't have to die. "Everyone wins said Beelzebub. You get an eternally grateful bunch of worshippers praying forever for lower taxes as I goad & prod them forever with higher & higher taxation."

I don't want my penis red.

__________________
On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

Can I help? or be of service?

__________________

I could use the service of a professional for my reading...

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I actually prefer my penis red...as long as it's just a temporary condition...if the redness persists, see your doctor...

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

I'm thinking you could jump into a flat bottom boat or canoe and be down here pretty quickly Sal with the way the rivers are rising.

__________________
It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

Oh me Oh my Sal! There's gonna be a rush to the register on this one!

LMFAO @ gecko...Duh! You don't wanna see blue down there hun! Red ain't bad unless you are bleeding.

Sal? I got Mr. Lixy's reading and it's spot on! Can't hang around too long cause I cook Thanksgiving dinner EVERY year for us and his friends...and I gotta get thinking bout this years menu...!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

ok .... here's a thought....


...... offer 'Penis Readings' as one of the activities at Pagan '08?

Now I love this idea.... need to find a nice little gypsy tent... shine up the crystal balls.... pack the silk panties.... remember they need to be erect when reading them...

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hmm, don't think i can self diagnose. wheres that gypsy tent?

I wonder if the wrinkles on my penis are the mirror image of the ones on my hand.

__________________
Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

HMM WI compairing.... ok I'm back Sal or Lixy please read my penis