These questions about Canada were honestly posted on an International
Tourism Website.

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow?
(UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching
them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto - can I follow the railroad
tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water. . .

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to
contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list
of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton and Halifax? (UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)

A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe.
Ca-na-da is that big country to your North . . . oh forget it. Sure, the
hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 90 degrees. Contact us when you get here and
we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you
tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions on British Columbia where the female
population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year
round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its
name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a Moose. They are tall and very violent eating the
brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by
spraying yourself with human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R+R, and I want to contact the girl I
dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.

LMAO! That is crazy....I like the answer to the one about the fountian of youth.

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Happiness is Bunny Shaped

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Great posting steph..... It sure is funny. Maybe I can come up something with the American version. Still trying to make a list.

I loved Sharni's list about Australia (or was that Austria? LOL) and I love this one, too, Steph. Thanks for the laugh and smiles.

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Communication is the key.

Your version wasn't exactly the same tho', eh, Sharni?

Polar bears replaced with kangaroos, etc.

funneh funneh. i loves canada..so purdy and the weather ish perfect for my taste. but i still love a good candian joke

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-Oz

got a giggle thanks

Damn..then maybe that WASN'T a polar bear I saw that night in North Bay...lol.