Ok here is the deal, me and my GF have decided to continue our relationship even though she is going away for school, the program she is taking is 4 years long. It is a 11 hour drive away. Then plan as it stands right now is she will be away by herself for the first year then if we are still together and things are going well i will move out there to be with her. So what are some tips on making it through the first year. Fell free to ask for more info if you need and i will be happy to give you any details you want, thanks a ton in advance guys.

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If it feels good do it and fuck what anyone else says.

I've survived LDRs before but it's not easy. The good thing is - when you see each other, the sex is going to be fantastic! You will miss her in the day to day things but you might even find you become closer through e-mail, MSN and phone calls. Send fun care packages, that'll help her.

What school is 11 hours from Vancouver, just out of curiousity.

You could shoot your neighbors dog or something that will get you a one jail sentence and send her to school with a chastity belt and a eunuch as a room mate.

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Just keep the communication level at 1000% at least..... and keep the attitude that if it was meant to be, it will be......

Thanks for the advice, the school is in Alberta, In calgary. I am going to try to keep up the communication. We have both said if its going to work out it will if not oh well. We both know it could go either way but we also both want very much for it to work. Thanks guys.

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If it feels good do it and fuck what anyone else says.

Been there, done this, kept the bf. Which is the good news I have to offere, it can be done. We did 4 and a half years at different schools.

But the bad news is that no matter how many times I get asked, I can't say there's a formula to make it work.

What I can say is that they take work. Lots and lots and lots of work. If you can't find the titme, if either of you start feeling neglected, ignored, or worst of all "not part of the other one's life" you're inn trouble. You have to find ways to make her part of your day to day life. Phone calls (shop around for a good payment plan....you'll need it), emails (cheap, show effort, and convenient...also, she can go to them when she's missing you...you can't go back to a phone call), messenger (cheap answer to phone calls), cards (every college student likes finding letters in their pigeon hole), care packages (humor counts for a lot here) are ALL good ideas.

And, of course, the second thing is impossible to balance with the first: you have to give each other space. You have to keep each other involved in each other lives...you also have to let her HAVE a life, you have to have one too. It can't just be waiting for the year to pass, it can't JUST be keeping in touch with her. Truthfully, it's too much pressure to be someone's entire world. AND you wind up with damned little to talk about. Have fun yourself, DEAL with the fact she's going to make friends you don't know, DON'T get jealous of things that don't threaten your relationship.....or there won't be one.

I know, it's a juggling act....but who said it was going to be easy? You just have to find a way to balance both.

Last, and crucuially, honesty. Lots. More. How you're feeling. What you're thinking. Doubts, hurts, thrills, smiles. Everything you would usually get from little looks, body language, casual comments, small touches...has to be put into words. We were more open and honest about how we were feeling than I have ever been with any of my exes. It was necessary then, but it has become the foundation for the rest of our lives now that we're together.

Which brings me to the really bad side...I've known people who thought that they were in successful LDRs, only to discover when they got back together that it didn't work in real life. The problem there has ALWAYS been a lack of honesty. With each other, and with themselves. They wind up having most of the relationship in their own head, with someone who doesn't really exist. Going away to college is a time of huge changes for someone. You grow in ways you never expected, you meet people, you learn about a MUCH wider world. If this relationship is going to work, you're both goinng to have to make sure you know and love the person she's becoming. Because if you expect her to be just the same person who left the end of the summer when she comes bac home, you're heading for a disappointment.

But don't give up home. I don't know if it's because it's hard, or if it's the openness and honesty, but the ones that make it past the LD stage are by far the strongest I've known.

Good luck!

Thanks ginger, that helped alot.

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If it feels good do it and fuck what anyone else says.