09-23-2003, 02:59 PM
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Scottish Angel
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Join Date: Dec 2002
Location: Scotland
Posts: 2,761
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Bad 4 Letter Words!
BAD 4 LETTER WORDS......
> >
> >
> > >Please excuse the rough language in the following
> > >story...
> > >
> > >A young couple got married and went on their
>honeymoon. When they
>got
> > >back,
> > >the bride immediately called her mother.
> > >
> > >"Well," said her mother, "So how was the
>honeymoon?"
> > >
> > >"Oh, mama," she replied, "The honeymoon was
> > >wonderful! So romantic..."
> > >
> > >Suddenly she burst out crying. "But, mama, as soon
> > >as we returned, Sam started using the most horrible
>language-things
>I'd
> > >never heard before!
> > >
> > >I mean, all these awful 4-letter words! You've got
> > >to take me home...,
> > >
> > >PLEASE MAMA!"
> > >
> > >"Sarah, Sarah," her mother said, "calm down! You
> > >need to stay with your husband and work this out.
>Now, tell me, what
>could
> > >be so awful? WHAT
> > >4-letter words?"
> > >
> > >"Please don't make me tell you, mama," wept the
> > >daughter, "I'm so embarrassed, they're just too
>awful! COME GET ME,
> > >PLEASE!!"
> > >
> > >"Darling, baby, you must tell me what has you so
> > >upset. Tell your mother these horrible 4-letter
>words!"
> > >
> > >Still sobbing, the bride said, "Oh, Mama..., he
>used
> > >words like: dust, wash, iron, cook..."
> > >
> > >"I'll pick you up in twenty minutes," said the
> > >mother.
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09-23-2003, 03:17 PM
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Manwhore
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Pacific Northwest
Posts: 15,495
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Reminds me of the young man that married in Arkansas... On hishoneymoon the young man comes home. His Pa asks why he is back, and his son tells him he needs an annulment and he is quite shaken. His Pa asks what happened and the boy replies, "Well, we got to our hotel, and as we undressed and got into bed she says 'Be gentle please, I've never done this before.'" The Dad syas, "You did good son... If she's not good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
__________________
Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.
Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien
In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these
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09-23-2003, 03:58 PM
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Bouncy Bunny
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Arizona
Posts: 1,252
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LOL!
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09-23-2003, 03:59 PM
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Made in England
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Hamilton, Ontario, Canada
Posts: 8,180
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OMG.........lol
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09-23-2003, 04:56 PM
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Horseman12's Filly
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Georgia,USA
Posts: 1,315
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TOO funny CA and Aqua, Love em
__________________
If we are what we eat...I'm fast, cheap and easy ( and horseman12 will have to change his nic to hellsbells )
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09-23-2003, 05:01 PM
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Horseman12's Filly
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Georgia,USA
Posts: 1,315
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Los Angeles Police lucked out with a robbery suspect who just couldn't control himself during a lineup. When detectives asked each man in the lineup to repeat the words, "Give me all your money or I'll shoot," the man shouted, "That's not what I said!"
A bank robber in Virginia Beach got a nasty surprise when a dye pack designed to mark stolen money exploded in his Fruit- of-the-Looms. The robber apparently stuffed the loot down the front of his pants as he was running out the door. "He was seen hopping and jumping around," said a police spokesman, "with an explosion taking place inside his pants." Police have the man's charred trousers in custody.
Not realated but clean....so you can tell yer moms and aunties lol
A man spoke frantically into the phone: "My wife is pregnant and her contractions are only two minutes apart!" "Is this her first child?" the doctor asked. "No, you idiot!" the man shouted. "This is her husband!"
__________________
If we are what we eat...I'm fast, cheap and easy ( and horseman12 will have to change his nic to hellsbells )
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09-23-2003, 05:03 PM
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Horseman12's Filly
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Georgia,USA
Posts: 1,315
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Just one more then I will shut up
This one is for all of you who either:
a) have kids or one on the way
b) had kids who have now grown
c) was a kid
d) know a kid!
Daddy's Gonna Eat Your Fingers
As I was packing for my business trip, my 3 year old daughter was having a wonderful time playing on the bed.
At one point, she said, "Daddy, look at this," and stuck out two of her fingers. Trying to keep her entertained, I reached out and stuck her tiny fingers in my mouth and said, "Daddy's gonna eat your fingers!" pretending to eat them before I rushed out of the room again.
When I returned, my daughter was standing on the bed staring at her finger with a devastated look on her face. I said, "What's wrong, honey?"
She replied, "What happened to my snot?"
__________________
If we are what we eat...I'm fast, cheap and easy ( and horseman12 will have to change his nic to hellsbells )
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09-23-2003, 07:05 PM
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Suprise Me
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Posts: 4,259
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LOL LOL LOL
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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.
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09-23-2003, 09:32 PM
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Just me.
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
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ROTFLMAO. Those are terrific!
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09-23-2003, 11:29 PM
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Banned
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: T.O.
Posts: 20,828
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I love the redneck family one the most
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09-24-2003, 02:46 AM
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<----Snappin' Pussy
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Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: Queensland, Australia
Posts: 106,936
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LMAO
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Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your mouth.
*~Sharni~*
If you go hunting tigers....be prepared when ya catch one!
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