Ok I got to work this morning, and booted up my pc. What did I find in my e-mail???

This!!

I know you Pixie Ladies will love this!!!!!!! (and no it has absolutely NOTHING to do with my nic!)

30 CRUEL THINGS TO SAY TO A NAKED MAN

1. I've smoked fatter joints than that.
2. Ahhhh, it's cute.
3. Why don't we just cuddle?
4. You know they have surgery to fix that.
5. Make it dance.
6. Can I paint a smiley face on it?
7. Wow, and your feet are so big.
8. It's OK, we'll work around it.
9. Will it squeak if I squeeze it?
10. Oh no... a flash headache.
11. (giggle and point)
12. Can I be honest with you?
13. How sweet, you brought incense.
14. This explains your car.
15. Maybe if we water it, it'll grow.
16. Why is God punishing me?
17. At least this won't take long.
18. I never saw one like that before.
19. But it still works, right?
20. It looks so unused.
21. Maybe it looks better in natural light.
22. Why don't we skip right to the cigarettes?
23. Are you cold?
24. If you get me real drunk first.
25. Is that an optical illusion?
26. What is that?
27. It's a good thing you have so many other talents.
28. Does it come with an air pump?
29. So this is why you're supposed to judge people on
personality.
30. I guess this makes me the early bird.

__________________
If love is bad then I`m EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

LMAO!!!!

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

OMG I love that!!!!!

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

lmao

lol cute big_yin

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LOL!!! thats hilarious big_yin!!!!!

Love the first one, especially! LOLOL

Ok here we go again, except this time its a really cheesy show here in the UK, old ones but beauties!

The following are ACTUAL answers given by contestants on "The Family Fortunes" in the UK.

Name something a blind person might use - A sword

Name a song with moon in the title - Blue Suede Moon

Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell

Name an occupation where you need a torch - A burglar

Name a famous brother and sister - Bonnie & Clyde

Name a dangerous race - The Arabs

Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers - A horse

Name something that floats in the bath - Water

Name something you wear on the beach - A deckchair

Name something Red - My cardigan

Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers

Name a famous royal - Mail

Name a number you have to memorize - 7

Name something you do before going to bed - Sleep

Name something you put on walls - Roofs

Name something in the garden that's green - Shed

Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine - A bicycle
with wings

Name something you might be allergic to - Skiing

Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters

Name something a cat does - Goes to the toilet

Name something you do in the bathroom - Decorate

Name an animal you might see at the zoo - A dog

Name something associated with the police - Pigs

Name a sign of the zodiac - April

Name something slippery - A conman

Name a kind of ache - Fillet 'O' Fish

Name a food that can be brown or white - Potato

Name a jacket potato topping - Jam

Name a famous Scotsman - Jock

Name another famous Scotsman - Vinnie Jones

Name something with a hole in it - Window

Name a non-living object with legs - Plant

Name a domestic animal - Leopard

Name a part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee

Name a way of cooking fish - Cod

Name something you open other than a door - Your bowels

__________________
If love is bad then I`m EVIL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Big Yin ... LOL ... those are both cute.

He he. Those are good. I think I saw the Naomi Campbell one.