This afternoon I received an e-mail from a guy I "knew" at the university where I used to go before I transferred to the one I am at now. Normally this would not be a big deal, but this guy was a borderline stalker, and since I have changed my e-mail address from my previous one and left no info on where I was transferring to, I am a little bit concerned and quite curious as to how this guy found my address to write to me, seeing as it's been about 4 years since I saw him last.

Back at the other school, he learned my name from swiping my ID card through the cafeteria cash register, and started calling me and showing up at my dorm room with flowers, candy, and little gifts. He even made the point of dropping to his knees and taking my hand and kissing it! About a month later, I withdrew from that school for various reasons, and never told him I was leaving, and hadn't heard from him since until now.

But on to my question...while I'm generally bothered by this renewed situation, I can't help feeling a little bit turned on by his persistant attraction to me. I don't feel threatened really, but just very curious as to why he keeps pursuing me. Has anyone been in this situation before, and am I totally strange for liking this attention?

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Though dreams can be deceiving, like faces are to hearts; they serve for sweet relieving when fantasy and reality lie too far apart.-Fiona Apple

No - but I think if you keep a distance and see how it goes on YOUR terms it may not be too dangerous. Just about every woman I've ever emailed or anything quickly loses interest in me, so I wouldn't know :P
If he starts making appearances again in person, without asking first, you may want to make friends with a cop and/or attorney.

You may want to remember BCG, “Nobody ever raped a .38!”


If it’s been four years between interest inspirations, I wouldn’t be too concerned. There’s a good chance that in the collage setting, your address was passed in quite innocently. Four years is the right incurrent for reminiscing and sharing of contacts. It’s also a time of accelerated change in people. You may find a completely different person.

Maybe we should talk about this some more. Just lie back and I’ll drop to MY knees and listen.

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BCG, that is *definitely* along the creepy lines--and I'm not sure about the "borderline" part of "borderline stalker." Dadaist is right. You can easily talk to your local county or circuit clerk's office or local police force about how to file a complaint and/or restraining order against this psycho. It may be that he *is* simply trying to renew ties, or it may be a reoccurence of his previous behavior. What you do, though, is directly related to your comfort level. When you start to squirm, you will know that things have gone too far.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Sounds a bit creepy to me. Proceed very, very carefully.

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A dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.

You know, after thinking about this for a while, with a bit better frame of mind, something else did occur to me, and don't take this as an insult. I don't know about WI, but I DO KNOW, that in IN, if a woman feels she needs to file an 'order of protection' against a guy (and she CAN use e-mail as proof of being harassed, so be sure to save any and all of yours, including and especially the headers, just in case) AND she can also prove ...'low income' (I forget the legal term - and here's where I don't mean to insult you, but I figured it was a fair statement to think that JUST graduating college, you're not going to have much cash flow). Anyway she can get the court to force HIM to pay all her legal expenses for the filing and granting of the order. Just something else to keep in mind.
Above all BE SAFE!
I don't think anyone here wants to read a thread entitled "Death of a Pixie"...unless it's fiction...which, oddly enough gives me a great story idea based on "journal entries" - but if any of the rest of you use it I'll smack ya with a ruler.

It's "indigent," Dadaist. But I think she knew what you were talking about.

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"Life is too short to wake up in the morning with regrets. So love the people who treat you right, forget about the ones who don't, and believe that everything happens for a reason. If you get a chance, take it. If it changes your life, then let it, and if you have to wait for what you really want, take the time because nobody said that life would be easy. They just promised it would be worth it." ~ Unknown author

Yes, thanks. It's not meant as an insult, but believe me I really know RIGHT NOW what it's like when money's VERY TIGHT.

For what it's worth BCG...........if it walks like a duck, and it quacks like a duck......it just might be a duck........(in sheeps clothing?).

I've learned a long time ago to listen to the bells and whistles that go off in my head about something strange in someone. You can call it "woman's intuition" if you want, but if it seems strange......in the end, it usually is!

I can TOTALLY understand the "turn on" this might bring to you.......but it would be rather sweet if he just came right out and told you how he tracked you down!

If you do respond.....he'll know for sure it is you he is seeking.......and "if" you do respond, make sure the very first thing you say is...."HOW DID YOU FIND ME AND DON'T GLOSS OVER THIS......I WANT TO KNOW!

As I said hun......for what it's worth.......

Hope this gives you food for thought!

*hugs*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

someone with the confidence to pursue is a turn on .... but someone who pursues through means like stealing your identification, showing up at unwanted times, etc. that's not confidence, that's control issues slamming into place .... just because he was nice enough in the past about it, doesn't mean he'd continue that way ..... things like this tend to escalate .. not diminish .... better to take the safe road on this one I'd think! and just because it took him 4 years to contact you doesn't mean he hasn't been in the background monitoring or gathering info. Not trying to be an alarmist, but stalking has too often been a LONG-TERM thing, if it went for several months, it could easily go to several years. Above all .... don't let him push you from a place where you have established friendships, etc. or isolate you from others!

CREEPY - no question

Beyond creepy, take the advice and take the initiative to keep him away from you. I have had one woman do a similar thing and it is not pleasant. Guys might think that is one of their fantasies come true but the reality is extremely intrusive and unwelcome. I can't imagine being female and coming face to face with that kind of persistence. Please do something!

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Lots of people talk and few of them know, soul of a woman was created below

I can't get through to her 'cause it doesn't permit
But I'm gonna give her everything I've got to give.

I hear your sweet voice calling
out my name
As I stare from a six foot cell
And from beyond I heard the words
Deceptively Yours

I’m not part of this mob. I WILL be paying close attention! And I would like to know a lot more DETAILS than I have now. (like the gist or feel of the message? has there been more than one? was there anything suggestive of it being the continuation of a rebuffed suitor? ………..)

It seems that “contingency options” are READILY available in all directions. It is good to keep your head out of your butt, pay VERY close attention if anything doesn’t “feel” right in any way. But as the saying goes, “Leave the drama for your moma.” and get on with what I know is a busy and exciting time for you BCG.

My PERSONAL feelings on this kind of thing is that the handful of headache characters that ARE out there get far too much attention and consideration than they deserve. When somebody fucks with somebody else, they should be dealt with FIRMLY and NOW! But they sure haven’t earned the right to make me change MY life or divert any of my attention to their sorry ass.

Perhaps the message on my answering machine will explain my feelings. “Hi! I’m unable to take your call because I’m either a) out of the house, which I do 3 nights a week, or b) sitting in a dark corner with a 12 Ga., which I do 4 nights each week. You may guess which night this is or leave a message.”

I recognize bad elements in life. I just try not to let them rule me.

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I love the phone message pf! She just needs to take control!

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Lots of people talk and few of them know, soul of a woman was created below

I can't get through to her 'cause it doesn't permit
But I'm gonna give her everything I've got to give.

I hear your sweet voice calling
out my name
As I stare from a six foot cell
And from beyond I heard the words
Deceptively Yours

Yep!











(and not IT take control)

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