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  #1  
Old 11-07-2003, 01:56 AM
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Vigil Vigil is offline
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Manners Maketh Man

I was disappointed to see someone new being insulted for raising a perfectly reasonable point.

This behaviour not only lowers the quality of this site, but as in this case stops people being able to have a free and open discussion about difficult issues.

No-one can win an argument if the topic isn't discussed and therefore taboos will remain swept under the carpet.

Men like me have benefited from open discussion about date rape, domestic violence, child abuse and incest. When we see the issue, we become allies of those who suffer, and will not be perpetrators through ignorance of the harm we can cause.

Incidentally, would an incest story be any less erotic as a simple boy/girl encounter? The waters are easily muddied and some people like to do this to cover their tracks as we have seen on other taboo subjects.

Just a thought.
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  #2  
Old 11-07-2003, 05:14 AM
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Teddy Bear Teddy Bear is offline
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Vigil,

I think it wasn't so much an issue over the topic that was questioned but how it was presented. It started right out with misinformation about the move Pixies went through. The insulting tone of the new comers post set people on edge. Once the ball started rolling it gained momentum and then mob mentality took over. Everyone charged in defending Pixies Place itself, not just the incest issue. I was sorry for the way I responded at first and later apologized.

In a way we should be proud that we have such staunch supporters of our 'family'. We may have gone about it the wrong way but we all meant well. I do not think the thread should have been locked or pulled off the board. I think we need to be careful with our powers of censorship. Or we'll be pulling every thread that stirs up a little controversy and micro-managing the site. We've had threads on free speech and banned books and the censoring of the boards worries me. Its like 'be careful what you say or you to will be pulled'..... in fact I'll be surprised if this isn't.

As a suggestion, could a new section be made for things such as this. Anything political or otherwise controversial could be put in there. Then our sensitive members could avoid having thier feathers ruffled. Call it 'The Hot Spot' or 'Politics 101' or 'How to insult people in 1000 words or less.' LOL -- no scrap the last one. But lets not sweep things under the rug. Gonna end up with a pretty lumpy rug.

ok -- sorry for going on so. I'm done.
teddy
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  #3  
Old 11-07-2003, 06:13 AM
Lovediva Lovediva is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Teddy Bear
Call it 'The Hot Spot' or 'Politics 101' or 'How to insult people in 1000 words or less.' LOL -- no scrap the last one. But lets not sweep things under the rug. Gonna end up with a pretty lumpy rug.


teddy


Now there is a thought!
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  #4  
Old 11-07-2003, 07:36 AM
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Lilith Lilith is offline
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There are many extenuating circumstances regarding the thread that was closed. Things that I am not at liberty discuss. There will be times that you see threads closed or deleted. There always has been so you need to be aware of that. What I love is that each of you have an opinion as to whether or not it's appropriate to remove this thread or that, some even saying it's ok to delete before someone responds but not once someone has. Everyone thinks their view on this is correct. Frankly this is not a forum that has typically dealt with controversial topics. It's a friendly, no flame, moderated forum. I have considered starting a forum for more controversial topics but I have seen how those forums leak into all the others at other sites.

Some people are reacting sharply to a current wave of negativity that seems to be sweeping the boards. I certainly can understand how they feel. I do not come here for heated discussions and debates. However, the best way to make something cease is to not respond to it period.

There are many forums set up to specialize in controversial subjects such as politics, religion, global policies etc. This is a forum that is attached to a site that specializes in erotic stories. There are many places on the web that can quench your thirst for debate. The peope who click the button to enter the forum are clicking it because it is associated with sex.

I like to think of Pixies as the neighborhood bar people pop into after work (where everyone is naked). Occasionally the discussions become controversial or heated but in general that is not why the 14,000+ members come here. In general there is usually not more than 15-20 of you who regularly participate when given a controversial thread to sink your teeth into. As a moderator I have to think about all 14,000+. Yes your thoughts and feelings are important but so is everyone elses.

When I saw the title of this thread it immediately made me think about manners. I would not go to my grandmother's quilting circle and give a lecture on motorcycle maintenance. Not that is it wrong to do, just that it is not appropriate for that crowd. That is not what that group came to experience.
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  #5  
Old 11-07-2003, 09:39 AM
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Vigil Vigil is offline
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I was one of the worst offenders at taking offence to what I felt was an insulting thread when I was a younger Pixie.

All I ask is that we try to remain civil even when we are insulted by a post. You can be very cutting without having to be rude.

I enjoy the difficult discussions - and sex has many difficult areas to discuss.

I found a good way to remember.
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  #6  
Old 11-07-2003, 10:28 AM
Lovediva Lovediva is offline
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I can untie that thing using only my mouth.
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"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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  #7  
Old 11-07-2003, 11:07 AM
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…and the LACK OF “Manners Maketh Man” pissed off.

As much as it pains me, I agree with Lilith on this for the most part. We all came here originally, and still do, to enjoy the adult sexuality. (we do have very different concepts on the meaning of numbers )
Quote:
….The insulting tone of the new comers post set people on edge. Once the ball started rolling it gained momentum and then mob mentality took over. Everyone charged in defending Pixies Place itself, not just the incest issue. I was sorry for the way I responded at first and later apologized…..

I readily admit that when a stranger walks into my home and shits on the floor before saying hello, I become very concerned and not very friendly until I feel I’ve done something to get the situation under control. And I’ll help him back OUT the door before I look in his pocket to see if he brought me a candy bar. I’m working on the sorry and apologizing part, but I think Teddy Bear’s comments are well thought and stated.
Quote:
….I think we need to be careful with our powers of censorship. Or we'll be pulling every thread that stirs up a little controversy and micro-managing the site. We've had threads on free speech and banned books and the censoring of the boards worries me…..

It’s not unlike the power of the government to me. When I feel I’m being protected, they don’t have enough power. When I think it may be used against me, they have too much.
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  #8  
Old 11-07-2003, 11:19 AM
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WildIrish WildIrish is offline
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Re: …and the LACK OF “Manners Maketh Man” pissed off.

Quote:
Originally posted by pantyfanatic
I readily admit that when a stranger walks into my home and shits on the floor before saying hello, I become very concerned and not very friendly until I feel I’ve done something to get the situation under control. And I’ll help him back OUT the door before I look in his pocket to see if he brought me a candy bar.



Does this mean that if we say hello BEFORE crapping on your floor you will then check our pockets for candy?
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  #9  
Old 11-07-2003, 11:21 AM
Lovediva Lovediva is offline
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I don't carry my candy bar in my pocket. Your SOL PF!!!!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!!!!
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"Never shall I forget the time I spent with you. Please
continue to be my friend, as you will always find me yours."
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"Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away."
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  #10  
Old 11-07-2003, 11:53 AM
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Vigil Vigil is offline
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Quote:
Originally posted by Lovediva
I can untie that thing using only my mouth.


You're welcome to anytime gorgeous; so long as you take responsibility for any subsequent loss of memory!
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  #11  
Old 11-07-2003, 02:00 PM
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PantyFanatic PantyFanatic is offline
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Re: Re: …and the LACK OF “Manners Maketh Man” pissed off.

Quote:
Originally posted by WildIrish
Does this mean that if we say hello BEFORE crapping on your floor you will then check our pockets for candy?

I may only check under your skirt for silky panties.
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PANTIES
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"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"

Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!

real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
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  #12  
Old 11-07-2003, 02:26 PM
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WildIrish WildIrish is offline
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Re: Re: Re: …and the LACK OF “Manners Maketh Man” pissed off.

Quote:
Originally posted by pantyfanatic
I may only check under your skirt for silky panties.



You might be suprised by what you find! lmao
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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.


For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.
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  #13  
Old 11-07-2003, 08:21 PM
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PantyFanatic PantyFanatic is offline
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OMG It sounds like I might be horrified.


.... not to mention the destruction of my libido.
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PANTIES
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"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"

Except for speculation, we ONLY have NOW and EACHOTHER!

real world of cyber people ~ Pixies ~ real people of the cyber world
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  #14  
Old 11-07-2003, 08:48 PM
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Steph Steph is offline
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Re: Manners Maketh Man

Quote:
Originally posted by Vigil
I was disappointed to see someone new being insulted for raising a perfectly reasonable point.


I respectfully disagree. The person in question seemed to invite trouble by talking about problems with previous chat incarnations. I don't know anything about the previous chat room but it seemed it had nothing to do with the question about incest.

I regretfully say, <sigh> I think PF said it best with his analogy about someone defecating in his house before saying hello.

I've been around the Internet block and know this is one of the most well-mannered places on the 'net.
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  #15  
Old 11-08-2003, 12:02 AM
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Booger Booger is offline
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Now if we could just house trian you steph
but something tells me PF wouldn't mind if you shit on his floor
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