
12-24-2003, 12:01 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
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Iraq Christmas Carol!
Subject: HIS IS GOOD !!
'Twas 13th December, when deep in Iraq,
the 4th I.D. had a big enemy to track.
Saddam's stockings were smelly from months on the lam,
In hopes Dean or Kerry would soon take command;
Our soldiers were nestled in their desert humvees,
they'd been told they were hunting Iraqi V.I.Ps;
And Saddam with head lice infesting his cap,
Had just settled down for an Iraqi-type nap.
When out on the farm there arose such a clatter,
He sprang from his shack to see what was the matter.
Away to his hideout he flew in a snit,
Tore open his pants leaping into the pit.
The searchlight on the dictator now caught in our snare,
Gave the lustre of mid-day to his nasty wild hair.
When, what to our soldiers' wide eyes should appear,
But a bedraggled old dictator cowering in fear!
Beneath the dirty old beard and the lice in his mane,
They were amazed to discover that it was Saddam Hussein.
More rapid than eagles they called up old Rummy,
And he whistled, and shouted, and said, "This is yummy!"
"Now, Condi! Now, Sanchez! Now, Cheney and Bush!
On, TV! on Radio! Free Republic! Let's Rush!
To the top of the news! Get this video on!
Call FNC first! Then Dan Rather and Tom!
As a gloved doctor examined the smelly old goat,
he shoved a big stick down Saddam's nasty throat,
Around the world in a flash the footage it flew,
As the French and Russians gulped, wondering what we now knew.
And then, in a twinkling, we heard from our leader
as he confirmed the capture of the despotic bottom feeder.
As he concluded his announcement, they replayed the scene,
(We heard nothing from Clark and nothing from Dean).
Saddam was covered in filth, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all greasy, with ashes and soot;
A bundle of money he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a peddler who'd sold out to Chirac.
His eyes -- how they sagged! his dimples now pits!
His forehead was covered with curious zits!
His head was examined for vermin and lice,
shaved his face of the beard that was his disguise;
A large piece of wood was probed in his mouth,
(And we don't even know if the gloved hand went South);
He still had a fat face but had lost his round belly,
His clothes were a shambles and his feet downright smelly.
He was skinny and drawn, the lying old coward,
And I laughed when I thought of the speech made by Howard;
But the spin of the media and a liberal talking head
Soon gave me to know I had nothing to dread;
Dean spoke not a word; Kerry went straight to work,
And tried to get airtime; (sounds just like the jerk),
Bush kept it short, not given to prose,
And giving a nod, up the polls he rose;
He sprang back to work, to his team gave a whistle,
And to D.C. they flew like the down of a thistle.
But I heard him exclaim, as he went on his way,
"Happy Christmas to all, and God Bless the USA!"
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
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12-24-2003, 12:10 PM
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Jumpin' Jelly Bean
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Join Date: Dec 2003
Location: England
Posts: 954
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LMBFAO. Classic. Did you write it yourself or find it somewhere else on the Internet?
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12-24-2003, 12:37 PM
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Registered User
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Join Date: May 2001
Location: Rochester N.H.
Posts: 4,134
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My Uncle in Connecticut(married Fathers sister)is a retired Marine,
& is also retired from the Telephone Co.He emailed it to me!He
still goes to Marine reunions.He was an Officer! Irish
__________________
Irish---Better to be dead & cool,then alive & uncool!
(Harley Davidson & the Marlboro Man)
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12-24-2003, 12:37 PM
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Grouch
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Texas
Posts: 545
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That is a good poem!
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Well sir that seems to be someone else's problem.
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12-24-2003, 02:30 PM
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Ethical Epicurean
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: Santa Monica California
Posts: 1,570
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Good one...Heard the latest news??? Saddam was captured as early as Novmber by a Kurdish tribe and after nearly a month of negotiations,finally handed over to American forces.He was found in a spider hole with a bundle of cash and a gun,why didn't he shoot himself???? He was too f...... stoned man. It seems that the Kurds drugged him and left him there for the Americans.
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Sex is one of nine reasons for reincarnation.The other eight are unimportant...Henry Miller
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12-24-2003, 02:35 PM
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Just me.
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
Posts: 590,002
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Great, Irish. Merry Christmas!
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12-24-2003, 03:45 PM
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Inquiring Mind
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Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Atlantic seaboard
Posts: 627
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Irish,
cool, thanks very much. 
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12-24-2003, 07:10 PM
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Huggable!
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Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: Northeast coast, USA
Posts: 5,055
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TY Irish for passing this on to us. I especially like the last line:
"Happy Christmas to all, and God Bless the USA!"
Wishing you & yours a wonderful holiday!
teddy 
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12-25-2003, 11:41 AM
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Everybody Stretch!
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Join Date: Aug 2002
Location: Pa. USA
Posts: 11,637
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Good one Irish!
And.........is what you said, above, true......lakritze? I'm feeling a bit naive....but it sounds like it could be true!
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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.
~Thomas Dewar~
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12-25-2003, 11:49 AM
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Registered User
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Join Date: Feb 2003
Location: Maryland
Posts: 541,353
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lakritze,
If true, that would be funnier that all get out. The Great Leader doped up by some Kurds! Where did you learn about it?
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Eudaimonia
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