Yep, it's that question that all of us face sooner or later. Tonight Mrs. Bare broke the news that she thinks that "that time" has started. My question is directed primarily to the ladies......where the hell is this journey going to take me??????? I guess it's one of those questions that men always wanted to ask but were hesitant to do so.

What advice can anyone give me about what kind of support I need to be ready to give, should I go out and buy myself some kevlar (body armor and helmet the soldiers wear in battle), should I go out and buy an air conditioner for those beloved hot flashes, or should I just move out of the house for a few weeks?

How long does it take before the changes are complete, or is there so much diversity for this that you can't tell??????

As you can see, lots of questions and for someone who is normally so self-confident, I'm totally lost

http://www.minniepauz.com/
http://boards.webmd.com/topic.asp?topic_id=1202
http://groups.msn.com/MenopauseSupportGroup
http://www.power-surge.com/intro.htm

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If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
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Well, there is acutally no need for her to suffer through a lot of this stuff. First thing to suggest - have her visit her doc and discuss this - there are natural medicines and synthetic medicines that will ease symptoms (emotional and physical) special diets, etc.

(been there and have done that - still dealing with it!)

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A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults.

All of the above and then some, can take ten years from what I have heard to complete it's cycle.

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(((((bare4you)))))

So sweet of you to ask instead of just complaining about her/it! I commend you!

No one is exactly the same. There is no set time limit for our body changes. A year? Two? Five? It all depends on genetics. What's her family history?

What's easy for some can be so difficult for others. Some women tend to think that others are handling "it" all wrong because they are going through symptoms that never happened to them. Advice will ABOUND...good and bad! What works for one may be all wrong for another. Just because one woman had Dr. Gotmethroughthechangewithoutahitch and he's "the best doctor and you should go see him cause it sounds like your doc is a quack"...doesn't make her right!

Answer me this: Have you noticed a transformation? Is it a bad transformation thus far? Has Mrs. Bare always taken care to see her gyno and has she or will she see him/her now for guidance through the change? Do you own a football helmet? <---LMAO...JK!

But yes...there may/will be good and bad days, or moments that seem like days...not only for her but you as well. These can be emotional as well as physical. It's a BIG change that we undertake. Expect BIG things to happen...and that can mean good big things and/or bad big things. Some say that after the change a woman can relax and not fear pregnancy anymore and her sex drive soars. On the other hand she might feel less of a woman and her sex drive drops. It really all depends on the care taken while changing!

No matter what bare...it's gonna happen! No holding back time, ya know. I don't think anyone (her or her S/O) has ever died from it...though I could be wrong about that...lol! When it's over and you look back on it, you'll either laugh and life will go on...or someone will post bail and you can hope for a sympathetic judge and jury!

Luck and Love to you and Mrs. Bare!

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

It can be a huge thing if not met and understood.

In many ways the psychological aspects can be more subtle and harder to cope with.

Apart from the "I'm getting fat and frumpy, how could you love ugly ol' me, my god I'm turning into my mother, you're just feeling sorry for me, you must be playing up because I'm no longer desirable" and the million other insecurities that are brought out, it's amazing how many women enter other relationships to prove to themselves that they are still attractive to someone.

Start reading, start watching and start understanding what's really going on around you and the two of you should come out of this OK.

Get her to read the books too.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

You are very right in asking the ladies view of this phenomenon. I know they will have more insight regarding the physical experience than any man can have. You are very remiss to not ask the men’s prospective of hanging onto the back of the hook-and-ladder as she drives this fire engine through the woods at full tilt …………………. sometimes . The view can be somewhat different. I can only promise a journey that AAA doesn’t have any road maps to.

There is better than an even chance you are going to get to meet the twin sister she never told you about. She’ll come to visit often, sometimes more than once or twice in the same day. Your wife didn’t tell you about her because she hates her and can’t stand being in the same room with her, so don’t expect to see them together.

It is going to be very educational. You may get to learn a new language where ‘no’ means ‘yes’ and ‘I’ll be happy to ’ means ‘you hate me ’. You’ll get to know her secrets of how she ALWAYS disliked most of the things, places and people you spent most of your life with ……………… sometimes .

You may want to take up a hobby, ……………. like armature meteorology, and learn how quickly conditions can change. You could always take a little time off and go on an easier journey ………………… like Eddy Hillary’s climb or retracing Mao’s ‘Long March’. Just don’t worry about it. It will be over and forgotten in…………….. maybe a decade?

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Take it from someone who is in the thick of the very same thing- what she needs from you is patience, TLC and compassion. And don't treat her like she's sick, because she's not.

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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
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As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~

See. lmao

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PF, I'm a Gemini... I've already got that twin sister you mentioned, LOL

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Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my man, love to forgive him, and patience for his moods. Because Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat him to death. AMEN


It's no trick loving somebody at their best. Love is loving them at their worst.
~Tom Stoppard~


It isn't premarital sex if you have no intention of getting married.
~George Burns~


As bad as I am, I'm proud of the fact that I'm worse than I seem.
~A. DiFranco~

I haven't hit this stage myself, but my mom is full on, and the biggest thing I've seen with her is that her memory has a short; hormones regularly cause women to lose their minds (I fight some nasty PMS paranoia, myself--yay!), so a change this big is bound to increase that effect; my poor husband can't wait, I'm sure.

One of the women in my women's circle, many of whom had already been "croned," told this joke:

A fiftysomething woman is shopping in the grocery store, and she runs into an acquaintance, another fiftysomething woman, so she says "Hello," but realizes suddenly that she's forgotten the other woman's name. They chit-chat a moment, and finally she 'fesses up and says, "I am so totally embarrassed, but I've forgotten your name..." The other woman looks at her for a long time, and finally says, "How soon do you need to know?"

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"I walk with my head held high and naked in the sun, claiming these streets for myself."--Jonatha Brooke

My wife is having a hysterectomy in two weeks so we know pretty much exactly when she's going to go through "the change".

On the other hand they may leave the ovaries she/we may get a reprieve.

Jude30- Have your Mrs. PM me and I'll give her a url that will provide extremely helpful. And whatever it is that you think you know, be prepared for it not to go at all like you think it might.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas