This seems to be the center of all wisdom. I have questions and I’m sure others do too.
Clint’s profound question about the half empty/full glass has caused me to ask the many questions I’ve had for a long time.

Post the conundrums of life that has perplexed you and prepare to gather the pearls that roll forth from Pixieville.


Here’s a couple of my first queries.

1.- After eating, do amphibians need to wait an hour before getting OUT of the water?

2.- Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard?

__________________

How come Superman stands there with his arms crossed while the bad guys shoots at him, but when he runs out of bullets & throws the gun at him, HE DUCKS?

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Lets see...for PF's questions..
1. it depends on what their mom and dad's say
2. he has it waxed

Scoz, Supes is a nancy-boy...everyone knows Batman is the "bad mutha-fucka of the Justice League

Why does the "Land of the Free" cost so much?

How is "Self Service" different from "No Service?"

Baseball players earn millions each year to shrinking audiences and are thinking of striking for more ... while firemen, nurses, police officers and garbage men earn only a few thousand at a time of growing need and aren't allowed to strike. How does this make sense, again?

I've kept a list of these as I have come across them... here are some of my favorites:

- If nothing ever sticks to TEFLON, how do they make TEFLON stick to the pan?

- Why do you need a driver's license to buy liquor when you can't drink and drive?

- Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?

- Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?

- You know how most packages say "Open here?" What is the protocol if the package says, "Open somewhere else"?

- Why do they put Braille dots on the keypad of drive-up ATMs?

- Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

- You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

- Why do we drive on parkways and park on driveways?

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

How come the more money someone makes, the more they say something is not about the money???

CK

__________________
CK

"Women, you can't live with them ... pass the beer nuts." - Norm Peterson (George Wednt) on Cheers

"Sometimes you just have to say, what the fuck." - Tom Cruise in Risky Business

"It tastes so good. Once it hits your lips." - Frank the Tank in Old School

Why is that your feet smell and you nose runs????

__________________
Love...the slowest form of suicide.

Why is it that the more food you order at McDonald's the cheaper it is?
Like the value meals that include the Huge Soda and XLarge Fries is cheaper than a sandwich and small soda.

__________________
CK

"Women, you can't live with them ... pass the beer nuts." - Norm Peterson (George Wednt) on Cheers

"Sometimes you just have to say, what the fuck." - Tom Cruise in Risky Business

"It tastes so good. Once it hits your lips." - Frank the Tank in Old School

I got one...why do people nod their heads at the drive-thru speaker...it's like gesturing with your hands to the person you're on the phone with...

__________________
Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

How about, why do they chain down the pen in the bank, but leave the vault door open?

Ok here we go

Dicksbro
1: Because the land of the free hasn't been free for a century.
2:Full Service = Gas station, Gas pumps, Gas Jocky
Self Service = Gas station, Gas pumps, No Gas Jocky
No Service = No Gas station, No Gas Pumps, No Gas Jocky

MilkToast
1: Adhesive
2: I think you can use a state ID as well
3: Because English is a crappy language
4: Interstate is a type of road, it doesn't have to go through more than one state
5: Chainsaw time ; )
6: Engineers that know to much and think to little
7: I don't, but for people who do I guess it helps them concentrate
8: It would be way to heavy to fly
9: See, #3 or #6, which ever floats your boat.

Coach Knight
1: Phsyiclogical re-assurance that it isn't about the money.
2: Special orders mean more hassle and more work, hence more money

skipthisone
1: Because they'er in my stuffy shoes.
2: My nose isn't running, if it was it would probably be due to a cold.

scotzoidman
1: It is somthing they do when they are talking to people, and they don't notice that they are doing it even though they can't be seen by the other person

Reesa
1: This one is easy, Stupidity

__________________
Man who go through turnstile sidesways is going to Bangkok.

Why is so much month left at the end of the money?

__________________
If every material thing is gone, my smile and my tears stay left.

Thinker,
OK... good answers... of course that leads to the questions... why answer "why" questions....

as for:
4: Interstate is a type of road, it doesn't have to go through more than one state

sorry... I won't take that as valid... maybe some partial credit, but not too much... as per Webster's dictionary:

interstate: of, connecting, or existing between two or more states especially of the U.S.

so an Interstate Highway would have a real hard time occuring in Hawaii

yeah yeah.... pick pick...

bye now....

-Toast

__________________
-Toast-
"It takes a lot of brains to enjoy satire, humor and wit - but none to be offended by them." -- Johnny Hart ("BC", cartoonist, 2000)
"Analyzing humor is like dissecting a frog: Nobody really enjoys it and the frog generally dies as a result." -- E. B. White

We humbly accept you wisdom to our quandaries. Could your benevolence enlighten further query?

1. If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?:whiteghos

2. We know the speed of light is 2.998 x 10^8 m/sec, but what is the speed of dark?

3. Why does your turban come to a point?

__________________

isn't the speed of light 3.68 x 10^8 m/sec

__________________
"...I won't be your winter...and I won't be anyones excuse to cry."

"Even heroes have the right to bleed."

"I'm wakin up at the start of the end of the world