Law of Mechanical Repair:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

Law of Probability:

The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

Law of the Telephone:

If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now, or, the register will close when you get there. (works every time).

Law of the Bath:

When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings, or, if you try to outsmart it by unplugging the phone ... the doorbell rings .

Law of Close Encounters:

The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

Law of the Result:

When you try to show someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Law of Biomechanics:

The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

Law of the Theatre:

At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, arrive last.

Murphy's Law of Lockers:

If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are. (this one's too deep for me!)

Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

Wilson's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it

Brown's Law:

If the shoe fits, it's ugly.


Was that written by Buster Brown?

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And the other guy has a huge penis.

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Law of the Workshop:

Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

I've seen Mr. Lixy throw a tool on the floor and when asked about it said, "It was gonna fall there anyway...that's the kind of day I'm having!"

Law of the Alibi:

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

It's true peeps...karma I tell ya!

Variation Law:

If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now, or, the register will close when you get there. (works every time).

I learned this by being a "backseat driver". I always feel bad when I insist Mr. Lixy change lanes and then we slow to a snail's pace while our prior lane rolls on.

Law of the Result:

When you try to show someone that a machine won't work, it will.

Happens with my sewing machine and boss all the time!

Law of Location:

No matter where you go, there you are. (this one's too deep for me!)

Now...someone stole this from me. I say it all the time!

Wilson's Law:

As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it

Yeah...that elusive black bean dip I love so much. *sigh*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~

No; by Tagg.

(We are probably two of the few that get this, SC. lol )

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dicksbro,

Good chuckles. Thank you.

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Eudaimonia

Then there's the Law of Electronics:

A $1000 computer component will protect a $6 surge protector by blowing first.

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

Law of the bathroom:

The length of time the bathroom is occupied is directly proportional to how badly you need to use it.

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On the kinkometer, my kink measures as a sine wave.

Sometimes known as Mrs Murphy's Law: the chance of the bread falling buttered-side down is directionally proportional to the cost of the carpet.

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

I'm saddened to say I am another of the few. *bark, bark*

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Minds are like parachutes. They only work when they are open.

~Thomas Dewar~