Exactly two weeks ago yesterday (Tuesday) I took my mom (age 64) to the doctor for a routine visit and she was sent for a routine chest x-ray. On Wednesday she was called and informed that something showed up and she needed to return for a CT scan…(she told me a different version not wanting me to worry). On Thursday I took her back and she had her CT. At approximately 5 p.m. on Thursday she called to tell me that her doctor had called and wanted her to admit herself to the hospital that night. He explained that there was a small spot in her left lung and it was ON the main pulmonary artery. The doctor was concerned that the artery would start bleeding. Anyway, she had a bronchoscopy on Saturday morning and was released from the hospital on Sunday morning. Last Tuesday the doctor called to confirm our worst fears, the spot was cancer. He seemed more concerned with the location than the actual cancer. Yesterday she had short stay surgery to have a catheter implanted in her chest and today she had her first Chemo treatment. I’m scared to death! I may bitch and moan about my mom on occasion, her being the ultimate control freak and all lol, but we have been through hell together and I’m not ready for this. I hope that this Chemo will work, if not then other options will have to be discussed. Yes, I know I’m rambling.

Day before yesterday (Monday) my 14 year old son informs me that he thinks it’s time he went to live with his dad, he wanted to spend some time there. Now, I have a perfectly good relationship with my ex and his wife. My oldest son made the same decision at about the same age, but I never expected this. I know in my head that this is something he needs, this father figure, but my heart is totally and completely broken. My ex has never been what you might call “dad” material. I realized that shortly after my oldest son was born. He always put himself first and still does, his children were never first. He never played ball with them, he never changed a diaper, never took them to a doctor appointment, never took care of them on the weekends I had to work and he didn’t (I had to find a sitter), never coached their T-ball teams, I did. He is a much, much stricter person than I am and I know my son needs this, especially at his age and with the work he ISN’T doing in school! . I feel like I have given my children up! I have so many things running through my head I don’t know what to say. My heart is in pieces, but my son comes first and I have to go on.

I just want you all to be praying, sending up positive thoughts, dancing naked under the next full moon (lol), whatever it is that works for you. I would really appreciate it.

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I like the bed I'm sleeping in, just like me it's broken in; it's not old -- just older.
Like a favorite pair of torn blue jeans, this skin I'm in it's alright with me; it's not old -- just older.....Bon Jovi

(((((((((((( T )))))))))))))

I know it's scary and we'll all be right here with you.

TinTennessee,

Yes'm. Shall do. Hang in there!

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Eudaimonia

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. Please know that.

As for your son's choice to spend some time living with Dad, well, I'm sure it's a very tough thing to cope with considering the discrepancies you've witnessed in his ability to father. The fact that you're fretting over this shows that you are keeping the best interest of your son first and foremost in your thoughts. I'm sure you will continue to do so, regardless of where he is physically located. (((((((TT)))))))

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

((((((TT))))))))

Consider it done. Prayers for you, your children, your Mom, and even your ex are on the way!

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Put me on wheels and I'll turn tricks.

Clever? Nah, I ran out of that years ago. But if you find this, let me know, k?
"The road goes ever on..." ~ Tolkien

In memory of my friend skip...
Go then, there are other worlds than these

((((((((hugs T)))))))), big ones.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

Sending vibes of peace and love to your lovies. It's not easy being the mom, of your mom and kids. My heart goes out to you.

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The practice of putting women on pedestals began to die out when it was discovered that they could give orders better from there.~ Betty Grable

If I wanted your opinion, I'd remove the duct tape and ask you for it.~ Me
<~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~>
One man's dream is another man's nightmare~~~~> §¤ Lilith ¤§
~>My Scribbles<~
==>Gone Shopping<== ~Just a Quickie~ *~A Celebration Vacation~* ~Surprises~ Sleeping With the Window Open
What Did You Do Today? Self Defense Class ~Short Sweet Snippets~ § Summer Spin § Story Challenge Submission Pajamas

Thinking of you.

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~Tainted Love~