Shaking hands with the wife's best friend.

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Calm, quiet, smooth, devastating

Having a date with Rosie Palms & the Blister sisters.

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Plug me into somethin'

If the theory does not conform to the facts, then the facts must be discarded.

No good deed ever goes unpunished

Never argue with an idiot. He'll drag you down to his level, & beat you with experience.

jerkin the gherkin

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And darkness overcame until she screamed alone in vain.
Oh how lovely as she gasps, yet so innocently sleeping.
Bullet to the head... soon you'll be sleeping
Pull this trigger to your antidote
She had the eyes of an angel with a heart like a traitor
We always knew you'd go up in flames
We always you'd go out with a bang

Polishing the pony
Taking Mister Ed out and putting him thru his paces

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It takes a gutless mouse to play only when the cat's away.

No love, no friendship, can cross the path of our destiny without leaving some mark on it forever. ~~ Francois Mocuriac

Confucius say, "He who masturbate into cash register come into money."

An optimist looks at the glass and says it's half full. A pessimist looks at the glass and says it's half empty. A Cubs fan looks at the glass and says, "When's it gonna spill?"

Deus Impetitio Esuritori Nullus

...making love to the one you love best

rubbin' one out

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Though I am different from you,
We were born involved in one another.

For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart. It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.

Complete surrender should not just come at moments in which one faces overwhelming odds, but in the calm when it seems one is personally in complete control of one's life.

Scraping your weasel
Buttering Frank
Cuddlin' the purple helmet

for girls:

Defrosting the freezer
Dipping for ice cream
Auditioning the finger puppets

__________________

And darkness overcame until she screamed alone in vain.
Oh how lovely as she gasps, yet so innocently sleeping.
Bullet to the head... soon you'll be sleeping
Pull this trigger to your antidote
She had the eyes of an angel with a heart like a traitor
We always knew you'd go up in flames
We always you'd go out with a bang

Waxin' the Dolphin
Caressin' the carrot

for blokes:

shaking hands with the one eyed milkman...

punching the clown
riging up the block and tackle

gals:
hideing the bone
feeding the clam

doing the two fingered ballet

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And darkness overcame until she screamed alone in vain.
Oh how lovely as she gasps, yet so innocently sleeping.
Bullet to the head... soon you'll be sleeping
Pull this trigger to your antidote
She had the eyes of an angel with a heart like a traitor
We always knew you'd go up in flames
We always you'd go out with a bang

friggin' it!

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My Only Two Stories Anywhere!

Afternoon Delight

Delightful Rendezvous!

Is the love I gave her in the past, gonna be enough to last, if tomorrow never comes........

guys...dropped the kids off at Tish U, flushed the pipes, strung some pearls, shot some tadpoles, gave miss palm a lesson in woodworking, jettisoned some cargo, siphoned the tank, greased the pole, cooked up a batch o’ manchowder, milked the trouser goat, pricked some fingers, wrassled the cock-o-dile.

girls....flicked the clit bic, pet miss kitty.......watered the bush, capsized the little man in the boat…uh…….occupied the oval orifice, fulfilled her duty, performed a cavity search, plunged the drain…uhh…danced the hippy shake……widened the tunnel……went digging for clams…uh………huh. i got nothin', guess i'm done. it’s harder to come up with girl ones.

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Trees give peace to the souls of men * Nora Waln

The forest would be very quiet if no other birds sang than those who sing the best * Henry van Dyke

some fairly sordid tales, rambles, and anecdotes
Hypothetically Speaking * Something More * Cammy Interrupted * An Experimental Vacation * Masked * so..damn..hot * Thank You * My toy, his idea * no.19 Maple Lane * I Have A Surprise For You * Yesterday * In a Quiet Kitchen * help me decide * untitled prose * more untitled prose

nice

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And darkness overcame until she screamed alone in vain.
Oh how lovely as she gasps, yet so innocently sleeping.
Bullet to the head... soon you'll be sleeping
Pull this trigger to your antidote
She had the eyes of an angel with a heart like a traitor
We always knew you'd go up in flames
We always you'd go out with a bang

fucking mother thumb and her four daughters

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When did my wild oats turn to prunes and all bran?