GermanSteve;

I feel for you, fella! I'm going through a divorce myself right now, and I know how crappy it makes you feel even if it's friendly-ish, as ours is.

You may know already that I am a Psychiatric Nurse by profession, and I have also suffered very badly from depression in the past - to the extent of being 3 feet from the edge of an 80 metre cliff... so I have a fair idea of where you are.

My best suggestion to you is a combination of what has been said already - yes counselling, and probably some form of medication, is a good first step, as is taking your fears by the balls, and just ripping those fuckers right off! The main thing though, is to re-learn to like yourself again..... it's pretty obvious (to me) that you don't like YOU very much right now ~ I don't know the story of your break-up (I'm sorry) but part of this self-hate seems to be because you come here to "escape" real life.. DON'T! Everybody that comes here, does so for their own reasons, as you know better than I do I'm sure, and I'm sure more than one is taking the opportunity to hide from Something for a little while. I found Pixies just after my own break-up, and stayed.... why'd you think THAT was??

The most encouraging thing from my point of view is ~ you recognise what you're doing and why, and that is a rare thing, believe me! If you can still do that, things aren't going to be quite as tough as they could be (I know you probably don't want to hear that, but it IS a fact)

The only other thing I can think of is, try to get out and do some HARD physical exercise. It might be pretty hard to motivate yourself at first, but it DOES make you feel a bit better (endorphins and other natural chemicals ~ isn't Ma Nature wonderful?!)

Hang in there friend... "may the force be with you".

DM


P.S. If you have questions/concerns about any kind of treatment or therapy you're offered, PM me.... I'll help out all I can.

DM

__________________
The selfish, they're all standing in line
Faithing and hoping to buy themselves time
Me, I figure as each breath goes by
I only own my mind