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  #1  
Old 08-29-2009, 02:27 AM
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dicksbro dicksbro is offline
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Join Date: May 2002
Location: West central Illinois
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Hospital Charts

"Actual writings" from hospital chart records:

1. The patient refused autopsy.

2. The patient has no previous history of suicides.

3. Patient has left white blood cells at another hospital.

4. She has no rigors or shaking chills, but her husband states she was very hot in bed last night.

5. Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

6. On the second day the knee was better, and on the third day it disappeared.

7. The patient is tearful and crying constantly. She also appears to be depressed.

8. The patient has been depressed since she began seeing me in 1993.

9. Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

10. Healthy appearing decrepit 69-year old male, mentally alert but forgetful.

11. Patient had waffles for breakfast and anorexia for lunch.

12. She is numb from her toes down.

13. While in ER, she was examined, x-rated and sent home.

14. The skin was moist and dry.

15. Occasional, constant infrequent headaches.

16. Patient was alert and unresponsive.

17. Rectal examination revealed a normal size thyroid.

18. She stated that she had been constipated for most of her life, until she got a divorce.

19. I saw your patient today, who is still under our car for physical therapy.

20. Both breasts are equal and reactive to light and accommodation.

21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.

22. The lab test indicated abnormal lover function.

23. Skin: somewhat pale but present.

24. The pelvic exam will be done later on the floor.

25. Patient has two teenage children, but no other abnormalities.
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  #2  
Old 08-29-2009, 04:05 AM
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pinkFlames pinkFlames is offline
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Can I drink your bath water can I have your smelly underwear
I just wanna hold it smell it throw it in the air
Can you hold me tight and whisper dirty little nothings when I come
Just don't keep me hanging I've been hanging much too long

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  #3  
Old 08-29-2009, 08:09 AM
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PantyFanatic PantyFanatic is offline
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Quote:
21. Examination of genitalia reveals that he is circus sized.



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"If God didn't want you to play with it, He would have put it between your shoulder blades,..... not at the end of your arm"

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  #4  
Old 08-29-2009, 10:02 AM
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gekkogecko gekkogecko is offline
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Location: Central MD, USA
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Oldies but goodies.
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  #5  
Old 08-29-2009, 11:46 AM
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Lord Snow Lord Snow is offline
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Location: Tennessee
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What I think is funny is on a few of those you know what the person writing was thinking about at the time, and it wasn't their job.
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"BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Will he offer me his mouth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his teeth? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his jaws? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes. GIRL: Again, will he offer me his hunger? BOY: Yes! GIRL: Yes. BOY: On a hot summer night, would you offer your throat to the wolf with the red roses? GIRL: Yes. BOY: I bet you say that to all the boys!" -Meatloaf
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  #6  
Old 08-29-2009, 05:02 PM
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CuteCoupleOz CuteCoupleOz is offline
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Ahhhh-Hah!!! #12!!! And here I thought I was the only one with that condition.


---kathy
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