one million

[Sharni]

#3250

[dicksbro]

3251

[dicksbro]

3252

[dicksbro]

3253

[dicksbro]

3254

[dicksbro]

3255

[Steph]

3256

Thread seems to be moving more slowly lately

[Steph]

3257

[Scarecrow]

3258

it always does on the weekends

[Scarecrow]

996,741

or

3259

[Scarecrow]

#3260

[Scarecrow]

#3261

or

996,739

[Lilith]

3261

let it snow! let it snow! let it snow!

[Scarecrow]

3262

it feels cold enough here this morning:bite:

[Lilith]

3263

I'm singin' in the rain...

[Scarecrow]

3264

or

996,736

[Steph]

3265

[Steph]

3266

<sigh> Must get offline to get ready for work on my day off. :(

[Sharni]

#3267

[LixyChick]

#3268

Just dipping a toe to add/contribute to the (lost) cause! LMFAO!

[Scarecrow]

#32-69

yea 69

[Scarecrow]

#3270

or

996,730

[jennaflower]

Actually.. per the main listing Scarecrow's post above me was 3271...

This one is 3272.......

[jennaflower]

3273

Q: If mothers have Mother's Day and fathers have Father's Day, what do single guys have?















A: Palm Sunday!

[jennaflower]

3274

An elderly couple decided to celebrate their 50th anniversary in the same hotel and city where they spent their honeymoon. Before the act, he excused himself and went to loo and after a while came out laughing loudly.
''On our first night," the woman said, "you did the same thing and came out laughing. At the time, I was too embarrassed to ask what you were laughing about. Can you explain?"
''On that night while urinating, I made the roof wet. Today my shoes are wet."

[jennaflower]

3275

What do you call a prostitute's children?





















Brothel Sprouts!

[jennaflower]

3276

Two elderly ladies are sitting on the front porch, doing nothing.

One old lady turns to the other and asks, "Do you still get horny?"

The other replies, "Oh sure I do."

The first old lady asks, "What do you do about it?"

The second old lady replies, "I suck a lifesaver."

After a few moments, the first old lady asks, "Who drives you to the beach?"

[jennaflower]

3277

What's the difference between a toad and a horny toad?







One goes "Ribbit" and the other goes "Rubbit."

[jennaflower]

3278

An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker. The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: "Hoshimota! Hoshimota!" He can't quite remember what the word means, but he's sure he's pleased the hooker to best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner when he makes a hole-in-one. Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and he can't think anything to say but "HOSHIMOTA!" Concerned, his partner turns to him
"What do you mean it's in the wrong hole?"

[jennaflower]

3279

One day a guy and a girl were making out in her parents' bedroom, and it was getting pretty steamy. All of a sudden, the guy takes out his shlong and places it in her hand. She screams and runs downstairs, through the kitchen, through the living room, the bathroom, the dining room, back upstairs, through her bedroom, her bathroom, her sister's bedroom, down the hall and back into her parents' bedroom.
"Listen, pal! I have two words for you -- DROP DEAD!"

"I have two words for you -- LET GO!"

[jennaflower]

3280

A young man just got a new job running the register at a store. The old-timer said he would teach him how to sell things. "Watch how I do it" he said to the new hire as a man came up to the counter.

The customer put a bag of grass seed on the counter. The old-timer then said to him "You know when you plant those seeds and the grass starts growing you're going to need a new lawnmower to cut that grass." "You know," said the man, "I do need to get a new mower, sure I'll take one."

After the customer left, the new kid said, "I think I see what you mean. Let me handle this next one." A man then stepped up to the counter and set down a box of tampons. The young salesman then said, "You know you should get you a new lawnmower to go with that."

The man then asked the young salesman, "What are you talking about?" "Well," he said, "It looks like your weekend's shot so you might as well cut the grass!"

[jennaflower]

3281

A little boy and his dad were walking down the street whan they saw two dogs having sex. The little boy asks his father “Daddy, what are they doing?” The father says, “Making a puppy.” So they walk on and go home.
A few days later, the little boy walks in on his parents having sex. The little boy says, “Daddy, what are you doing?” The father replies, “Making a baby.” The little boy says, “Well, flip her around! I'd rather have a puppy instead!”

[jennaflower]

3282

There was once a stockbroker who had made a ton of money off the stock market and decided to retire to a ranch in Montana. One day he was out in his front yard planting some flowers when he sees dirt flying up behind a truck. The truck pulls into his driveway and a famer gets out of his truck.
"Hi, my name is Bob. I'm your neighbor. I live about five miles away and I came to invite you to a party I am having tonight."
"What kind of a party is it?" asks the stockbroker.
"Oh, we're going to do a little dancing, a little fighting, a little eating, little drinking, and a little screwing."
"That sounds great,' said the stockbroker. "What should I wear?"
"I don't care," said Bob. "It's just gonna be the two of us

[jennaflower]

3283

There was a woman and her husband. They were happily married except for the fact that the husband never gave his wife any money.
One day, a friend of the husband's comes over while the wife was taking a shower. He rings the doorbell and the wife comes out, wrapped in a towel. He asks, "Is your husband home?"
She answers, "No, but he'll back in about 30 minutes. You can stay and wait for him if you want." The friend agrees and enters the house.

As the wife is about to enter the bedroom the friend says, "If you flash me I'll give you a hundred dollars."

The wife thinks about it, and decides that she does need some money of her own. So she agrees and flashes him. She was about to leave the room when he says, "If you model nude for me until your husband gets home, I'll give you two hundred dollars." She thinks about it and agrees. A couple of minutes later he says, "If you have sex with me, I'll give you three hundred dollars." She thinks about it and agrees.

After the sex, he leaves, saying he had other buisness to get to. She thinks happily about the six hundred dollars and what she would do with it. Her husband comes home and she says, "Honey, your friend came over today."

He replies, "Oh? Did he have the six hundred dollars he owed me?"

[jennaflower]

3284

I'm gonna tell you a joke that'll make your tits fall off. Oops, my bad -- someone already told you.

[jennaflower]

3285

A young man goes into a drug store to buy condoms. The pharmacist says the condoms come inpacks of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, ''I''ve been seeing this girl for a while and she''s really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight''s ''the'' night. We''re having dinner with her parents, and then we''re going out. And I''ve got a feeling I''m gonna get lucky after that. Once she''s had me, she''ll want me all the time, so you''d better give me the 12 pack."

The young man makes his purchase and leaves. Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parents. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying with his head down for several minutes after everyone starts eating.

The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person."

He leans over to her and says, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."

[jennaflower]

3286

What do you call a person who can sit on an ice cream and tell the flavor?

















A smartass!

[jennaflower]

3287

If Dear Abby Were Dear Albert

Q: My fiancee still has feelings for his old girlfriends. I'm afraid he will not be faithful.
A: A man's capacity to love is boundless. It has been proven to increase with the number of sexual partners. Thus, by having a few other women, your partner is really increasing his love for you. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
Q: My husband has too many nights out with the boys.
A: This is perfectly natural behavior -- and it should be encouraged. Man is a hunter and needs to prove his prowess with other men. Far from being pleasurable, a night out with the boys is a stressful affair, and to get back to you is a relief for your partner. Just look back at how emotional and happy the man is when he returns to his stable home. Best thing to do is to buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.

Q: My husband wants to experience a threesome with me and my sister.
A: Your husband is clearly devoted to you. He cannot get enough of you, so he goes for the next best thing - your sister. Far from being an issue, this will bring all of the family together. Why not get some cousins involved? If you are still apprehensive, then let him go with your relatives, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal and don't mention this aspect of his behavior.
Q: My husband continually asks me to perform oral sex on him.
A: Do it. Sperm is not only great-tasting, but has only 10 calories a spoonful. It is nutritious, helps you keep your figure, and gives a great glow to the skin. Interestingly, a man knows this. His offer to you to perform oral sex with him is totally selfless. Oral sex is extremely painful for a man. This shows he loves you. Best thing to do is to thank him, buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband doesn't know where my clitoris is.
A: Your clitoris is of no concern to your husband. If you must mess with it, do it in your own time. To ease your selfish guilt, buy your man a nice expensive present, and cook him a delicious meal.

Q: My husband goes straight to sleep after making love -- we have no time to talk.
A: Sex is an extremely difficult task for a man. Afterwards he needs rest. In fact, the more he loves you, the more hard work his love-making is, and the more rest he needs. Stop putting pressure on him. Buy him a nice, expensive present, and cook him a nice meal.

Q: My husband's efforts at lovemaking only last 30 seconds.
A: Your husband loves you very much. He is so turned on by you that he cannot control himself. In fact, the shorter the 'effort' the more he loves you. Return this love by buying a nice, expensive present, and cooking him a nice meal.

Q: My husband is uninterested in foreplay.
A: Foreplay to a man is very hurtful. What it means is that you do not love your man as much as you should -- he has to work too hard to get you in the mood. Abandon all wishes in this area, and make it up to him by buying a nice expensive present, and cooking a nice meal.

Q: My husband has never given me an orgasm.
A: The female orgasm is a myth. It is fostered by militant, man-hating feminists and is a danger to the family unit. Don't mention it again and show your love to him by buying a nice expensive present...and don't forget to cook him a delicious meal.

[jennaflower]

3288

"If you could cook," said the husband, "we could fire the chef."



"If you could screw," replied the wife, "we could fire the driver."

[jennaflower]

3289

Impotence is nature's way of saying no hard feelings.

[jennaflower]

3290

An older woman can wear any hat she chooses and nobody will laugh. A younger woman wearing the same hat will always look like a lampshade in a brothel. An older woman will never wake you up in the middle of the night to ask you, 'What are you thinking?' An older woman doesn't care what you think. An older woman always carries a purse full of emergency supplies. Young women go hungry and bleed to death every time there's a natural disaster. An older woman always carries a condom in her purse. A younger woman is still hoping the guy might have one on him. An older woman is a cheaper date. A younger woman will cost you 12 beers, but an older woman will sleep with you after a cup of a herbal tea. An older woman can wear bright red lipstick during the day without looking like she just had an adventure inside a jam jar. This is not true of younger women or drag queens. Older women can run faster because they're always wearing sensible shoes. An older woman is into free sex! An older woman is almost always already attached to someone, so there's no need to develop a phobia about committing to her. The last thing she needs in her life is another clingy, whiny, dependent lover! Older women are more honest. An older woman will tell you that you are an XXXXXXX if you're acting like one. A young woman will say nothing, just in case it means you might break up with her. An older woman puts herself on a pedestal. If you act immature enough and hang around long enough, an older woman will just mistake you for another one of her children and let you live at her house rent-free. Older women can afford to support you. An older woman will never get pregnant and then suddenly demand that the two of you get married. In fact, if you impregnate an older woman, you will probably be the last to know... Older women have jobs with dental plans. Younger women can't help you when your teeth get knocked out playing hockey. An older woman will never accuse you of 'using her.' She's using you. Older women take charge of the situation. An older woman will call you up and ask you for a date. A younger woman will wait forever, by the phone, for you to call... Older woman know how to cook. Young women know how to dial 967-1111. An older woman will introduce you to all of her girlfriends. A younger woman will avoid her girlfriends when she's with you, in case you get any ideas... Older women are psychic. You never have to confess to having an affair, because somehow they always know. Older woman often own an interesting collection of lingerie that they have acquired from admirers over the years. Young women often don't wear underpants at all, thus practically eliminating all possibility of a strip-tease. An older woman will agree to go to McDonald's with you for a meal. Younger women are too nervous to eat anything in front of somebody that they might possibly burp later. Older women are dignified. They are beyond having a screaming match with you in the middle of the night in a public park. Older women are experienced. They understand that sometimes, after 12 beers, a boy just can't get it up. A younger woman may need some time to grasp this fact. An older woman has lots of girlfriends... and most of them will want to boff you too. An older woman will always meet the minimum height requirement to go on an amusement ride. An older woman will never accuse you of stealing the best years of her youth because chances are someone else has stolen them first.

[jennaflower]

3291

In the back woods of Arkansas, Mr. Stewart's wife went into labor in the middle of the night, and the doctor was called out to assist in the delivery.
To keep the nervous father-to-be busy, the doctor handed him a lantern and said, "Here, you hold this high so I can see what I'm doing." Soon, a wee baby boy was brought into the world.

"Whoa there Scotty!" said the doctor. "Don't be in a rush to put the lantern down... I think there's yet another wee one to come." Sure enough, within minutes he had delivered another little baby.

"No, no, don't be in a great hurry to be putting down that lantern, young man... It seems there's yet another one besides!" cried the doctor.

The new father scratched his head in bewilderment, and asked the doctor. "Do ye think it's the light that's attractin' them?"

[jennaflower]

3292

What has three balls and comes from outer space?














E.T., the Extra-Testicle!

[jennaflower]

3293

Henry Ford dies and goes to heaven. At the Gates, St. Peter greets Ford, and tells him, ''Well, you've been such a good guy, and your invention ... the assembly line for the automobile changed the world. As a reward, you can hang out with anyone in Heaven you want.'' Ford thinks to himself about it, and says, ''I want to hang out with God Himself.''

The befuddled St. Peter takes Ford to the Throne Room, and introduces him to God. Ford then asks God, ''When you invented Woman, what were you thinking?'' God asks, ''What do you mean?'' ''Well,'' says Ford, ''You have some major design flaws in your invention:

1. There's too much front end protusion.
2. It chatters way too much at high speeds.
3. Maintenance is extremely high.
4. It constantly need repainting, and refinishing.
5. It is out of commission at least 5 or 6 of every 28 days.
6. The rear end wobbles too much.
7. The intake is placed too close to the exhaust.
8. The headlights are usually too small.
9. fuel consumption is outrageous.

...just to name a few.'' ''Hmmm ...,'' replies God, ''Hold on a minute.'' God goes over to the Celestial Supercomputer, types in a few keystrokes, and waits for the results. In no time the computer prints out a report, and God reads it. God then turns to Ford, and says, ''It may be that my invention is flawed, but according to these statistics, more men are riding my invention than yours."

[jennaflower]

3294

3 Irish monks have passed all tests, except for one. It is the test of purity. So the other monks tie bells to their dicks and put them in a room with a naked chick. She dances in front of the first one, and, sure enough, he goes 'ding-ding!'
"Go take a cold shower, now!" she commands, and he goes to take a shower. So she dances in front of the next one, and, after a couple of minutes, he goes 'ding-ding!'
"Go take a cold shower with your brother!" she yells, and he leaves. Now she goes to the last one, dancing in front of him. He doesnt ring. The woman nods.
"Good, you've passed. Go take a shower with your brothers."
"Ding-ding!"

[jennaflower]

3295

What do you call a Mexican with a vasectomy?














A Dry Martinez!

[jennaflower]

3296

Why can't Chinese couples have white babies?










Because two Wongs don't make a white!

[jennaflower]

3297

Three men want to marry the king's most beautiful daughter. The king agrees to give them a chance, but they must perform three difficult tasks: defeat an ogre, turn lead to gold, and screw a cow. The first man dies fighting the ogre, the second fails at turning lead to gold, but the third man successfully completes all three tasks.
"Congratulations!" says the king. "You may now have my daughter's hand in marriage."
"Screw that," says the man. "I want the cow."

[jennaflower]

3298

Jane was sitting in anatomy class on day when her teacher asked her a question. He inquired, “What grows to 10 times its original size when excited?”
Jane blushed and said that she didn't know. Jimmy raised his hand and said, “I know! The pupil of the eye.” The teacher replied, “Yes, very good Jimmy.”

The the teacher turned to Jane and said, “Jane I have three things to say to you: One -- you have a very dirty mind. Two -- you haven't been studying hard enough. And three -- you're going to be very disappointed!”

[jennaflower]

3299

While walking home from work one day, Frank saw a woman weeping uncontrolably. “What's wrong?” he asked, putting an arm around her shoulder.
“It's horrible,” she said, “just horrible -- Jerome is dead!” Feeling there was little he could do, Frank walked on.

A few minutes later, he came upon another woman crying hysterically. “Jerome is dead!” she screamed as she staggered past.

Continuing along the road, Frank came upon a sickening sight: a big bear of a man lay on the road beneath the wheels of a truck. The force of the impact had ripped the man's clothes off and, much to Frank's surprise, the man had a penis over a foot long. There were several other women surrounding him screaming, “'Jerome is dead! Jerome is dead!”

Upon reaching his house, he said to his wife, “Honey, you won't believe what i just saw. A man was lying in the road, stiff as a board -- and he had an endowment at least fourteen inches long.”

“Sweet Jesus,” she said, “Jerome is dead?!”

[jennaflower]

3300

Why does Santa have huge balls?















Because he only comes once a year!

[fzzy]

#3301 --- just here long enough to say hello again. :)

[MilkToast]

3302 - passing through...

[Lilith]

3303

*croons* You're one in a million, chance of a lifetime.........

[Steph]

3304

Not familiar with that song . . .

[GusAspar]

3305

Good morning all - it's a grey Monday morning in London.

[Sharni]

#3306

[FussyPucker]

#3307 - goodmoaning all

[LixyChick]

#3308

Yep! It's "moaning" alright Fussy hun! Ugggggg! Another day, another buck two eighty..........

[Steph]

3309

Up too early . . . meeting with an editor in a couple of hours . . . COFFEE!!

[GusAspar]

3310

Good luck with the meeting, Steph

[FussyPucker]

#3311 - There are only 10 types of people in the world: Those who understand binary, and those who don't.......

geek me up scottie !!

[quisath]

3312

Good Morning..............................just getting over a COLD I got. Just my Luck.

[FussyPucker]

#3313

10 print Home
20 print Sweet
30 goto 10

:D

[Steph]

3314

Thanks, GusAspar. It went great except I showed up two days early :) Oh well, I wasn't late!

[Steph]

3315

Chat is rocking this afternoon!

[Sharni]

#3316

[Steph]

3316

I'm killing it with talk of NW Ontario, tho'. What can you do? :)

[Steph]

3318

Guess I get to skip one because I didn't refresh

[dicksbro]

3319 done
996681 still to go

[dicksbro]

3320 done
996680 to go

[Scarecrow]

3321


996679

[Scarecrow]

3322


996,678

[Scarecrow]

3323

or


996,677

[MilkToast]

3324

[MilkToast]

3325... the artists in my personal MP3 collection (all burned from my own CDs)

[MilkToast]

--3326--

Abra Moore
ACDC
Ace of Base
Aerosmith
Alan Jackson
Alannah Myles
Alison Krauss & Union Station
Amy Grant

[MilkToast]

--3327--

Barenaked Ladies
Beach Boys, The
Beck
Bela Fleck
Bering Strait
Big Bad Voodoo Daddy
Billy Idol
Billy Joel
Black 47
Black Crowes, The
Blues Traveler
Bon Jovi
Boston Pops Orchestra
Boyz II Men
Bread
Brian Setzer Orchestra, The
Brooks & Dunn
Bruce Hornsby & The Range
Bruce Springsteen
Bryan Adams

[MilkToast]

--3328--

C+C Music Factory
Cars, The
Celine Dion
Charlotte Church
Cheap Trick
Cherry Poppin' Daddies
Chicago
Clash, The
Confederate Railroad
Coverdale-Page
Creedence Clearwater Revival
Crystal Gayle

[MilkToast]

--3329--


Damn Yankees
Dave Matthews Band
Dead Milkmen, The
Deanne Carter
Def Leppard
Diana Krall
Dire Straits
Dixie Chicks
Don Henley
Donna Lewis

[MilkToast]

--3330--


Eagles, The
Ellis & Branford Marsalis
Elton John
EMF
Enya
Eric Clapton
Eric Johnson
Eurythmics
Eva Cassidy
Extreme

[MilkToast]

--3331--

Faith Hill
Faith No More
Fine Young Cannibals
Foreigner
Front 242
Fugazi

[MilkToast]

--3332--

Garth Brooks
Genesis
George Gershwin
Golden Earring
Great White
Guns N' Roses

[MilkToast]

--3333--

Harry Belafonte
Harry Connick Jr
Hootie & the Blowfish
Huey Lewis & The News

[MilkToast]

--3334--

INXS
Irish Tenors, The
Iron Maiden
Itzhak Perlman

[MilkToast]

--3335--

<duh... I posted the "I" list twice... uhhh... oops>

[MilkToast]

--3336--

Jackson Browne
Jackyl
Jane's Addiction
Jeff Foxworthy
Jelly Roll Morton
Jessica Andrews
Jim Brickman
Jimmy Buffett
Jo Dee Messina
John Lennon
John Mellencamp
John Williams
Josh Groban
Joshua Kadison
Journey

[MilkToast]

-- 3337 --

Kansas
Kinks, The
Kitaro

[MilkToast]

--3338--

LeAnn Rimes
Led Zeppelin
Lee Ann Womack
Linda Eder
Living Colour
Ludwig van Beethoven
Lynyrd Skynyrd

[MilkToast]

--3339--

Marc Cohn
Mariah Carey
Martina McBride
Meat Loaf
Men Without Hats
Metallica
Michael Ryan & Adam Kaplan
Midnight Oil
Mighty Mighty Bosstones, The
Mike & The Mechanics
Miles Davis
Motley Crue
Mr. Mister

[MilkToast]

--3340--

<about half way there :)>

[MilkToast]

--3341--

Natalie Cole
Nicki French
Nine Inch Nails
Nirvana
Norah Jones
Nylons, The

[MilkToast]

--3342--

Paul Desmond
Paul Simon
Pearl Jam
Peter Gabriel
Phil Collins
Pink Floyd
Poison
Police, The
Porno for Pyros
Previn, Andre with Mundell Lowe, Ray Brown
Proclaimers, The

[MilkToast]

--3343--

Queen
Queensryche

[MilkToast]

--3344--

Real McCoy, The
REM
REO Speedwagon
Rod Stewart
Rolling Stones, The
Roxette
Rush
Rusted Root

[MilkToast]

--3345--

Sammy Hagar
Sara Evans
Sarah McLachlan
Savage Garden
Scott Joplin
Sheryl Crow
Simon & Garfunkel
Sophie B. Hawkins
Soundgarden
Soup Dragons
Spin Doctors
Squirrel Nut Zippers, The
Starship
Steve Miller Band
Sting & the Police

[MilkToast]

--3346--

Tchaikovsky, Peter
They Might Be Giants
Three Tenors, The
Trick Pony
Trisha Yearwood

[MilkToast]

--3347--

U2
Ugly Kid Joe

[MilkToast]

--3348--

Van Halen
Vince Gill
Violent Femmes
Vonda Shepard

[MilkToast]

--3349--

Wang Chung
Warrant
Whitesnake
Winger
Wynton Marsalis

[MilkToast]

--3350--

ZZ Top

[MilkToast]

done for a while :D

3351

[Steph]

3352

Just got some family gossip

[MilkToast]

3353...

gonna share? :p

[jennaflower]

3354

What did Santa say to the three blondes on the corner?

















"Ho. Ho. Ho."

[jennaflower]

3355

Joe and Wanda had a small apartment in the city and they decided that the only way to pull off a Sunday afternoon quickie with their ten-year-old son in the apartment was to send him out on the balcony and order him to report on all the neighborhood activities. To a young boy, they thought, spying would be a lot of fun and would distract him for an hour or so.
The boy began his commentary as his parents put their plan into operation.

"There's a car being towed from the parking lot," he said.

"An ambulance just drove by."

A few moments passed.

"Looks like the Andersons have company," he called out. "Matt's riding a new bike and the Coopers are having sex."

Mom and Dad shot up in bed. "How do you know that?" the startled father asked.

"Their kid is standing out on the balcony too," his son replied.

[jennaflower]

3356


Did you hear about the man who joined a nudist colony?








The first day was his hardest.

[jennaflower]

3357

What is the difference between Mad Cow Disease and PMS?







Two tits!

[jennaflower]

3358

What is the difference between a joystick and a man's dick?



A joystick does its job.

[jennaflower]

3359

Two teenagers were walking through a park when they saw two rabbits getting it on, fast and furious.
"What are they doing?" asked the girl.

"They're jumping rope," said the boy. "Maybe I'll teach you how someday."

"I think I want you to teach me now," said the girl. So the two went behind some bushes and started getting it on. When the boy had his pants down, the girl asked what that was behind his "rope."

"That," said the boy, "that's my knot."

"Well," said the girl, "untie the knot and give me some more rope."

[jennaflower]

3360

What do you call a sex-crazed gay cannibal?



A head hunter!

[jennaflower]

3361

In Scotland, the most important time for a young lad is when he "comes of age" and is allowed to purchase and wear his first kilt.

A couple of weeks before, his important birthday, a young lad went to a tailor shop and found the material he wanted for his first kilt. He took the material to the tailor and said, "I'd like ye to make me a kilt with this material here and, if ye don't mind, I'd like ye to make me a pair of matching underwear for it. I hear it gets a might drafty up dem tings!"

So the tailor took the material and promised to call the young lad when the order was completed.

A few days later, the tailor called the lad back to the shop. "Here's ye kilt, and here's ye matching underwear, and here's five yards of the material left over. Ye might want to take it home and keep it in case you want anything else made of it."

So the lad rushed home with his order, threw the material in his room, and donned his kilt. In his excitement, he decided to run to his girlfriend's house to show off his new purchase.

Unfortunately, in his excitement, he forgot to don his underwear.

When his girlfriend answered the door, he pointed to his kilt and said, "well, what'd ye think?"

"Ah, but dat's a fine looking kilt," she exclaimed.

"Aye, and if ye like it, ye'll really like what's underneath," he stated as he lifted his kilt to show here.

;Oh, but dat's a dandy," his girlfriend shouted admiringly.

Still not realizing that he didn't have his underwear on he exclaimed quite proudly, "aye, and if ye like it, I've got five more yards of it at home!"

[jennaflower]

3362

There was this teacher who was teaching young kids the different types of animals, she showed them the picture of a giraffe, and asked them what it was. Nobody answered..so she gave them a clue, ''It has a long neck.'' One kid answered, "Giraffe!" Pleased, the teacher showed a picture of a zebra. Nobody answered it again, so she gave them a clue. ''This animal has stripes.'' "Zebra!" one kid answered. So she put up another one, that of a deer. The teacher could not think of a clue..but suddenly she came up with one!..she asked them ''what does your mother call your father?'' Suddenly one child got up and answered ''HORNY BASTARD!''

[jennaflower]

3363

One day, a fairy visits a lonely widow and says that she is there to give her 3 wishes.

'' I wish I was 21 and beautiful!'' The wish is instantly granted.

''I wish I had a million dollars!'' The wish is granted.

''I wish that my cat here were the most handsome guy in the world and were madly in love with me.'' The wish is granted. The now young lady and her man go inside. They start to cuddle, and the man looks at her.

''Aren't you upset you had me fixed?''

[jennaflower]

3364

Knights And Birth Control Limerick

In days of old, when knights were bold,
And condoms weren't invented,
They wrapped their socks
Around their cocks,
And babies were prevented!

[jennaflower]

3365

The room was full of pregnant women and their partners. The Lamaze class was in full swing. The instructor was teaching the women how to breathe properly, and informing the men how to give the necessary assurances at this stage of the plan.
"Ladies, exercise is good for you," announced the teacher. "Walking is especially beneficial. And, gentlemen, it wouldn't hurt you to take the time to go walking with your partner!"

The room was very quiet. Finally, a man in the middle of the group raised his hand.

"Yes?" asked the instructor.

"Is it all right if she carries a golf bag while we walk?"

[jennaflower]

3366

Why do smurfs laugh as they walk through the forest?





Because the grass tickles their balls!

[jennaflower]

3367

A kid was late was late for school one day.
"I had to take the bull down to mate with the heifer," he explained to the teacher.

"Couldn't your father have done that?"

"Sure, but the bull would have done a better job."

[jennaflower]

3368

A dentist is talking to his patient about the sanitary problems some of his fellow dentists were facing. He said that one of his friends was touring a latex glove factory in Mexico, and saw how they make the gloves. One person would stick his hand in the melted latex, walk over to a vat of cooling water, then dip his hand in it to solidify the latex. The glove was then thrown in a finished products box. The dentist's patient was disgusted by the lack of care taken in making the gloves sanitary. Wanting to keep all the patients he could, the dentist didn't mention how they made condoms

[jennaflower]

3369

Q: Why does the bar association prohibit lawyers and clients from having sex?










A: To prevent clients from being billed twice for essentially the same service.

[jennaflower]

3370

Two lawyers are walking down the street, when a beautiful woman walks by.
"Boy, I'd like to screw her," says one lawyer.
"I agree," says the other.
"But out of what?"

[jennaflower]

3371

Two guys die in a car accident and an angel descends from heaven.
"I am to give you your wings so you can fly to heaven. But if you think one dirty thought or act out one dirty act your wings will fall off." So they fly to heaven without any trouble but when they get there the first guy sees a naked woman walk by so his wings falll off. When he bends over to pick them up the second guy's wings fall off.

[jennaflower]

3372

One day, a man was golfing when he hit his ball into the woods. When he went to retrieve it, he found that it had hit a small man in green tights.
"I'm so sorry!" the man said.

"Don't worry about it. Anyway, you caught me. I'm a leprechaun and you have managed to stop me. You get three wishes."

"Oh, no, I don't want the wishes. Just as long as you're okay." The leprechaun thought the man was so nice he decided to grant three wishes for him. He gave him unlimited money, terrific health, and a great sex life. The man came back to the golf course the next year and recognized that same leprechaun.

"How're you doing?" asked the leprechaun.

"Oh, terrific. Everytime I stick my hand in my pocket a 100 dollar bill comes out and I've eaten nothing but Snickers bars for a year and I'm at my ideal weight and can run a mile faster than anyone."

"How's your sex life?" asked the leprechaun.

"Fantastic! I'm up to twice a week now!"

"Twice a week? Why so little? I gave you a great sex life wish!"

"Hey, it's not bad for a priest!"

[jennaflower]

3373

Q: What do you call a lesbian eskimo?





A: A klondyke.

[jennaflower]

3374

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?





See you next month.

[jennaflower]

3375

A couple decides to get married, despite the fact that the woman doesn't know how to cook at all. After all, he says, they can live on love. After the honeymoon is over, the man goes back to work. One day, he calls from work and asks if his new wife could make some dinner. Knowing full well that she doesn't cook, she asks if they can make love instead. The man agrees, and soon arrives home to find his wife sliding repeatedly down the bannister.
"What are you doing?" he asks, concerned.

"Oh, silly," she says. "I'm warming up your dinner!"

[MilkToast]

Originally posted by jennaflower
3374

What did one lesbian vampire say to the other?

See you next month.

EEEEWWWWWW.....

:bite:

3376

[jennaflower]

3377

Two guys are at the doctor's office, each has got a problem with his "jimmy." One guy gets called in to see the doctor and comes back out five minutes later. the guy in the waiting room says, "Well, what'd he say?" The first guy tells him that the doctor said to just take a shower and the ring around his unit will come right off.
So the next guy goes in thinking, "Great -- just take a shower." But instead the doctor tells him that they are going to have to operate. "Why?" he asks, "The other guy just had to take a shower." The doctor says, "Well, there's a big difference between lipstick and gangrene."

[jennaflower]

3378

Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"
The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

[jennaflower]

3379

Why do men walk so fast? They've got three legs!


Why do women talk so much? They've got two mouths!

[jennaflower]

3380

A guy and a girl are lying in a dorm-room bed after just having sex. The guy lies on his side of the bed and rests. The girl rolls to her side of the bed and says to herself, "I finally did it! I'm no longer a virgin."
The guy overhears her talking to herself and asks, "Are you saying you lost your virginity to me?"

"Well," the girl explains, "I always wanted to wait until I was with the man I love to lose my virginity."

Astounded, the guy replies, "So you really love me?"

"Oh God no!" the girl says. "I just got sick of waiting."

[jennaflower]

3381

There guy goes to a weight loss clinic and says he needs to lose 20 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs, where he finds a beautiful naked woman with a sign that says "If you catch me, you can screw me." An hour later, he emerges, sated and 20 lbs. lighter.
A month later, he returns and needs to lose 50 lbs. The receptionist sends him upstairs again, but this time there are two girls with the same sign. A day later, he comes out 50 lbs. lighter.

A year later, he returns and needs to lose 100 lbs. He gets sent upstairs again, where he finds a huge gorilla with a sign that reads "If I catch you, I screw you."

[MilkToast]

Originally posted by jennaflower
3378

Little Johnny came home from school one day and went by his mom's room. The door was open, so he looked in and saw his mom lying on the bed naked moaning and touching herself saying, "Ooh, I need a man! I need a man!"
The next day, Little Johnny got home from school and saw his mom lying on the bed naked with a naked guy on top of her. So Little Johnny ran to his room, stripped down naked, and started to touch himself, while moaning, "Ooh, I need a bike! I need a bike!"

no fair... I already posted that way back at 1456 (http://pixies-place.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&postid=278590&highlight=1456#post278590) :)

[jennaflower]

3383

A man was eating in a fancy restaurant, and there was a gorgeous blonde eating at the next table. He had been checking her out all night, but lacked the nerve to go talk to her. Suddenly she sneezed and her glass eye went flying out of its socket towards the man. With lightning quick reflexes, he caught it in mid-air.
''Oh my gosh, I am so sorry,'' she said as she popped her eye back in the socket. ''Let me buy you dinner to make it up to you.''

They enjoyed a wonderful dinner together and afterwards the woman invited him back to her place for a drink. They went back to her house, and after some time, she took him into her bedroom and began undressing him. The couple had wild, passionate sex many times during the night. The next morning when he awoke, she had already gotten up and brought him breakfast in bed.

The guy was amazed and said ''You know, you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?''

''No, she replied.....You just happened to catch my eye!''

[jennaflower]

3384

A little boy was in his room playing with himself, when his father walked in.
"Son! If you masturbate too much, you're gonna go blind!"

"Dad," the boy said, "I'm over here."

[jennaflower]

3385

decided to take a day off from work and go golfing. I was on the fourth hole, when I discovered a small frog sitting on the green. I paid it no attention until I heard, ''Ribbit. Nine iron.''
That's curious, I thought, but decided to trust the frog. I pulled out a nine iron, and sunk a hole-in-one. Amazing! So I picked up the frog and headed to the fifth hole. I asked the frog what club to used and it said, ''Ribbit. Three wood.'' I used that club and sunk another hole-in-one! I continued an amazing round of golf. At the end, I asked the frog where we should go next. ''Ribbit. Vegas.''

So we went to Vegas, and I asked the frog what we should do first. ''Ribbit. Roulette.''

So we went up to the roulette table, and I asked the frog how much I should wager. ''Ribbit. Three thousand dollars.''

It was a lot of money, but I ponied up anyway. Needless to say, I won big! I took my earnings and got the best room in the hotel. Once we were up there, I asked the frog if there was anything I could do to repay it. ''Ribbit. Kiss me.''

I figured, what the hell, it's just a frog. So I kissed the frog, and it turned into a 15-year old girl. That's how she ended up in my room, and if I'm lying, my name's not William Jefferson Clinton.

[jennaflower]

3386

A Canadian was in France, out of his wallet he removed a stick of gum he had from the airport in Canada, and started to chew it. He walked into a French coffee shop and sat himself beside an English speaking French man.
Frenchman: In Canada, what do you do with your used tires?
Canadian: We send em to France to get turned into paper plates.
French man: What do you do with your used plastic bags?
Canadian: (after blowing a huge bubble) We send em to France to get turned into a gold ring. Hey, what do you do with your used comdoms?
French man: we send em to Canada to get turned into bubble gum.

[jennaflower]

3387

A man walks into a bar next to an extremely hot girl and immediately looks at his watch.
She says, ''Is your date late or something''
He says, ''No I just got this magic watch''.
"What does your watch do that is so amazing?" asked the lady.
"It tells me what is happening."
"What does it say now asked the lady."
"It says you're not wearing panties."
"Well your watch is wrong, I do have panties on."
"Sorry, my watch is one hour fast."

[jennaflower]

3388

What does a guy say when he's going to masturbate?




"I'm gonna to go hit the sack!"

[jennaflower]

3389

Two Italian virgins get married and go on their honeymoon. However, they have no idea what they're supposed to do once they get to their hotel room.

The newlyweds decide to call the groom's mother and get some advice on what to do. The mother says that they should sit on the bed together and snuggle with each other and things should start to happen from there. The newlyweds start to do this but nothing else happens.


The groom calls his mother back to find out what to do next. She says they should take their clothes off, get under the covers in bed and nature should takes its course. The bride and groom take his mother's advice but still nothing.

He calls his mother a third time. Getting frustrated with the situation she says, "Listen, just take the biggest thing you have and stick it in her hairiest thing!" and hangs up on him.

A few minutes later, he reluctantly calls his mother back, "Well, I have my nose in her armpit. What do I do next?

[jennaflower]

3390

A man asks his pharmacist for half of a Viagra pill. The doctor says that half a pill won't do any good, he needs two or three pills.
The man explains, ''No, you see the reason I only want half a pill is because I'm tired of peeing on my shoes.''

[jennaflower]

3391

A man was fishing and he caught a crocodile. The crocodile told him, "Please let me go. I'll grant you any wish you desire." The man said, "Okay. I wish my balls could touch the ground."
So the crocodile bit his legs off.

[jennaflower]

3392

As you grow older, what lost quality of your youthful life do you miss the most?

A. Innocence.
B. Idealism.
C. Going into the ladies room with your mom.

In your opinion, the ideal pet is:

A. A cat.
B. A dog.
C. A dog that eats cats.

You have been seeing a woman for several years. She's attractive and intelligent, and you always enjoy being with her. One leisurely Sunday afternoon the two of you are taking it easy-you're watching a football game; she's reading the papers-when she suddenly, out of the clear blue sky, tells you that she thinks she really loves you, but, she can no longer bear the uncertainty of not knowing where your relationship is going. She says she's not asking whether you want to get married; only whether you believe that you have some kind of future together. What do you say?

A. That you sincerely believe the two of you do have a future, but you don't want to rush it.
B. That although you also have strong feelings for her, you can not honestly say that you'll be ready anytime soon to make a lasting commitment, and you don't want to hurt her by holding out false hope.
C. That you cannot believe the Jets called a draw play on third and seventeen.

Okay, so you have decided that you truly love a woman and you want to spend the rest of your life with her - sharing the joys and the sorrows, the world has to offer, come what may. How do you tell her?

A. You take her to a nice restaurant and tell her after dinner.
B. You take her for a walk on a moonlit beach, and you say her name, and when she turns to you, with the sea breeze blowing her hair and the stars in her eyes, you tell her.
C. Tell her what?

One weekday morning your wife wakes up feeling ill and asks you to get your three children ready for school. Your first question to her is:

A. "Do they need to eat or anything?"
B. "They're in school already?"
C. "There are three of them?"

What, in your opinion, is the most reasonable explanation for the fact that Moses led the Israelites all over the place for forty years before they finally got to the Promised Land?

A. He was being tested.
B. He wanted them to really appreciate the Promised Land when they finally got there.
C. He refused to ask for directions.

What is the human race's single greatest achievement?

A. Democracy.
B. Religion.
C. Remote control.

Alien beings from a highly advanced society visit the Earth, and you are the first human they encounter. As a token of intergalactic friendship, they present you with a small but incredibly sophisticated device that is capable of curing all disease, providing an infinite supply of clean energy, wiping out hunger and poverty, and permanently eliminating oppression and violence all over the entire Earth. You decide to:

a. Present it to the President of the United States.
b. Present it to the Secretary General of the United Nations.
c. Take it apart.

When is it okay to kiss another male?

a. When you wish to display simple and pure affection without regard for narrow-minded social conventions.
b. When he is the pope. (Not on the lips.)
c. When he is your brother and you are Al Pacino and this is the only really sportsman-like way to let him know that, for business reasons, you have to have him killed.

What about hugging another male?

a. If he's your father and at least one of you has a fatal disease.
b. If you're performing the Heimlich maneuver.
c. If you're a professional baseball player and a teammate hits a homerun to win the World Series, you may hug him provided that:

i. He is legally within the base path,
ii. Both of you are wearing sufficient protection, and
iii. You also pound him fraternally with your fist hard enough to cause fractures.

When is it okay to throw away a set of veteran underwear?

a. When it has turned the color of a dead whale and developed new holes so large that you're not sure which ones were originally intended for your legs.
b. When it is down to eight loosely connected underwear molecules and has to be handled with tweezers.
c. It is never okay to throw away veteran underwear. A real guy checks the garbage regularly in case somebody-and we are not naming names, but this would be his wife-is quietly trying to discard his underwear, which she is frankly jealous of, because the guy seems to have a more intimate relationship with it than with her.

[jennaflower]

3393

Maria gets married and has 17 children. Then her husband dies. She remarries two weeks later, and has 22 children by her next husband. Then he dies. A few weeks later, she dies. At the funeral, the priest looks skyward.
"At least they're finally together."

"Excuse me, Father," says one of her sons, "but do you mean her and her first husband, or her and her second husband?"

"I mean her legs."

[jennaflower]

3394

It's the year 2389, and martian and earth couples are living peacably side by side. One day, an earth couple and a martian couple are having lunch and the subject of sex comes up. Because the earth couple has so many questions, the couples decide to swap partners for a week. A little later, the martian man and the earthwoman are alone in a bedroom, getting undressed. When the martian is naked, the woman is surprised that his penis is only 1/2 inch long and a 1/2 inch wide.
"Hold on," says the martian, who slaps his face, which makes his penis grow longer with each snap. "Oops, it's not wide enough yet." He pulls his ears, and with each tug, his penis grows wider. "All set!" he says, and the martian and the woman have incredible, mind-blowing sex. Later, the woman meets up with her husband, and asks him how it was.

"Well, it was fine. But I have a headache now because she kept pulling my ears and slapping my face."

[jennaflower]

3395

Mary Had A Little Lamb

Mary had a little sheep
With this sheep
She went to sleep
The sheep turned out to be a ram
And Mary had a little lamb.

[jennaflower]

3396

He's teaching her arithmetic, he said it was his mission.
He kissed her once, he kissed her twice and said, ''Now that's addition.''
And as he added smack by smack, in silent satisfication, she sweetly gave the kisses back and said, ''Now that's subtraction.''
Then he kissed her, she kissed him without an explanation. And both together smiled and said, ''That's multiplication.''
Then Dad appeared upon the scene and made a quick decision. He kicked that kid three blocks away and said, ''That's long division!''

[jennaflower]

3397
How do you know a mechanic just got lucky?


One of his fingers is clean.

[jennaflower]

3398

What's the difference between Mick Jagger and the friend of a lonely Scotsman?
Mick Jagger says "Hey, you, get off of my cloud!" And the friend of a lonely Scotsman says "Hey, McLeod, get off my ewe!"

[jennaflower]

3399

What did Bill Gates' wife say to him on their wedding night?









"Now I know why you named your company Microsoft!"

[jennaflower]

3400

Two midgets on a bender in Vegas hire two hookers and take 'em out for a night on the town. After cocktails and gambling, they all head back to their hotel room at the MGM Grand.
However, the night doesn't quite turn out as planned. Since he's had too much to drink, one of the midgets can't get it up at all, and, to make matters worse, he has to listen to the other one say "1, 2, 3, huh," over and over again, all night. The next morning, the first midget is complaining.

"Man, did that suck. I was soft all night."

"You think that's bad," said the other midget. "I couldn't even get onto the bed."

[Steph]

can't get to the bottom of the posts

still trying to get to the bottom of it all . ..

[Sharni]

#4402

[Lilith]

4403

we represent the lollipop guild

[FussyPucker]

3404 - who's been naughty ? LMAO we'll have no adding 1000posts to your number cheats !!! ;)

[Sharni]

Well i tried *LMAO*

#3405

[Sharni]

#3406

[FussyPucker]

#3407 - *spanking naughty sharni* :D

[GusAspar]

3408

Nice and sunny in London this morning

[GusAspar]

3409

Must do some work soon...

[Sharni]

#3410

[MilkToast]

--3411--
heading out to the office, looks to be a decent sunny day today... figures, rains all weekend and then is sunny when I am stuck at work... oh well, at least I have a reason to leave early :)

[dicksbro]

#3412

[dicksbro]

#3413 ... come on sun ... shine!

[FussyPucker]

#3414 - all alone in the office.......... if it weren't for the fact everyone passing by can see my desk I'd whip it out and have a jolly good fiddle !

[FussyPucker]

#3415 - WOW just fumbling around as usual and would you believe it Sharni has posted more replies in the "Word Association anyone?" game...
http://pixies-place.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=6021
...than I have in my entire pixie life this being post number 1335 for me and sharni has posted 1504 times in that one thread !!!

great going sexy one !

[Steph]

3416

Good morning!

[Steph]

3417

More coffee!!!!

[FussyPucker]

#3418 - It'll take more than coffee to get over stats like that one !

[dicksbro]

3419

[dicksbro]

3420

You'll have to stay up late FussyPucker and work those fingers to the bone! :D

[Steph]

3421

I've been waiting for a courier to arrive all day!

[Steph]

3422

You know he's going to arrive AS SOON as I leave for work.

[skipthisone]

3423

Its here

[Christine]

#3424

What happens when someone has too much free time...
http://www.rathergood.com/moon_song/

[FussyPucker]

#3425 - Anyone wanna see what I do when I've got too much free time ?? ;) ;)

[Christine]

#3426 I think we already know that :p

[d5254t]

#3427
Just wanted to add one more reply

[FussyPucker]

#3428 - hehehe that's true Christine but always room for a little more right ? ;)

[dicksbro]

#3429 with only 996,571 to go

[dicksbro]

#3430 - Gotta double up so we can get done this decade. :D

[MilkToast]

I came across these at The Onion (http://www.theonion.com) and thought I would post the here...

{just in case some of y'all are "the my coffee's to hot so I'm gonna sue McDonalds", these are a JOKE}

[MilkToast]

3432

Fire Safety And Prevention Tips

If your smoke detector is beeping periodically, replace the batteries as soon as you get around to it.

[MilkToast]

Be sure to keep your gasoline-soaked rags nailed to a wall, safely out of children's reach.

3433

[MilkToast]

There are two kinds of fire that should never be put out with water. I'm pretty sure one of them is a grease fire.

3434

[MilkToast]

3435

When making your family's fire-evacuation plan, just remember "LISGM9MN": Leave the house Immediately, Stay low to the Ground, Meet outside, and call 911 froM a Neighbor's house.

[MilkToast]

3436

Assist firefighters racing to the scene of a blaze by lighting a series of smaller "marker fires" along their path.

[MilkToast]

3437

If you have children, warn them never to play with matches, because a fire could break out and Sparky The Big Friendly Fire Dog would have to visit the house in his big red truck and give them rides while the firemen put out the fire with water hoses.

[MilkToast]

3438

Beware the lustful fires that burn in a librarian's heart. They can rage beyond all control.

[MilkToast]

3439

Before using a fire extinguisher to put out a rapidly spreading fire, be sure to thoroughly read the instructions printed on the side, marking key information with a highlighter pen.

[MilkToast]

3440

Space heaters are a serious fire hazard and should never be used. (This tip courtesy of your mother.)

[MilkToast]

3441

Remember: The old adage "Fight fire with fire" does not apply to non-metaphorical fires.

[MilkToast]

3442

Many schools give out bright, reflective stickers for children's bedroom windows to alert firefighters. Buy as many of these stickers as you can from neighborhood schoolchildren for your own window.

[MilkToast]

3443

Every month, check to see that smoke detectors are working by leaving a Tombstone frozen pizza in the oven for 300 minutes.

[MilkToast]

3444

Do not try to outrun fire, because it's much too fast. Wait, no, that's bears.

[MilkToast]

3445 {now this is a good suggestion :D}

Firefighters are heroes who perform a vital community service. Stay out of their way when they're working and offer yourself to them sexually when they're not.

[MilkToast]

--the end--
3446

[MilkToast]

3447

right before this post there were 11,673 members, 10,820 threads, and 273,752 posts at Pixies!

[MilkToast]

3448
as of this post (if I did all of this right)....

the current post rate is 139 posts/day which means we reach the goal on: 1/10/23 7:22 AM

________________________
the numbers:

start time: 5/9/03 11:35 PM
current time: 6/3/03 6:11 PM
reply count: 3,448
reply goal: 1,000,000

time delta: 24.78 days
time delta: 594.60 hours
time delta: 35,676 minutes

rate: 0.10 replies/minute
rate: 5.80 replies/hour
rate: 139.17 replies/day

still needed: 996,552 replies

time to goal: 10,311,192 minutes
time to goal: 171,853 hours
time to goal: 7,161 days
time to goal: 19.6 years

achievement date: 1/10/23 7:22 AM

[dicksbro]

3449

[dicksbro]

3450

[dicksbro]

3451

[dicksbro]

3452

[Scarecrow]

3453

[Scarecrow]

3454

or

996,546

[Scarecrow]

3455

[Scarecrow]

3456

[dicksbro]

3457

[dicksbro]

3458

[dicksbro]

3459

[dicksbro]

3460

[MilkToast]

3461
--back from dinner (and beers of course)

[dicksbro]

3462

[dicksbro]

3463

[dicksbro]

3464 and a nighty night

[MilkToast]

other estimated times (based on this posting time and count)...

4,000 replies: 6/7/03 2:14 PM
5,000 replies: 6/14/03 6:18 PM
10,000 replies: 7/20/03 2:37 PM
100,000 replies: 4/25/05 8:19 PM
1,000,000 replies: 12/25/22 5:28 AM

[dadaist]

#3466

Time for bed. Hope to get PC back tomorrow.

[MilkToast]

Originally posted by dadaist
#3466

Time for bed. Hope to get PC back tomorrow.
getting PC back, hopefully working = good news!

[fzzy]

#3468

[Sharni]

#3469

[Devillishgirl]

#3470

[Cannibalicious]

Didn't realize how gay He-man was until I saw a show on TV that pointed it out to me.

[Steph]

3472

He-Man is gay?

[FussyPucker]

#3473 - what a loverly day it is

[FussyPucker]

#3474 - and God said "let there be light!"..

and his wife replied "Get out of bed and turn it on then you lazy bastard!!"

[FussyPucker]

#3475 - oh and yes He-Man was soooooooo gay :D

[Sharni]

#3476

[GusAspar]

3477

Hello world

[Lost]

*runs through the thread screaming 3478*

[Sharni]

*LOL*

#3479

[Lost]

*runs back through the thread the other direction screaming 3480, and waves at Sharniqua*

[Sharni]

*watches Lost bolt through the thread with his gorgeous long hair flowing out behind him*

#3481

[Sharni]

#3482

[Sharni]

#3483

[Sharni]

#3484

[Sharni]

#3485

[dicksbro]

3486

[dicksbro]

3487

[dicksbro]

3488

[dicksbro]

3489

[dicksbro]

3490 down
996510 to go

You know what this does is give a person an appreciation of how big a number a million is.

[Sharni]

#3491

[MilkToast]

3492 - off to work...

[GusAspar]

3493

Hey, the sun's come out! :)

[GusAspar]

3494

have a nice day, folks

[Steph]

3495

Grr, problems with my CC company

[Steph]

3496

They were supposed to be sending me a new card, it finally showed up . . . now I need "the secret code". Wanna bet that doesn't show up today? Grr

[quisath]

3497

Ahhhhhhhh....................omgggggggggg what day is this?

[Steph]

3498

Yay! I bitched to the CC company and all is well!
Ahh, the squeaky wheel!

[Steph]

3499

Where is the sun?!? I wanna wear a sun dress!