one million

[Steph]

15250

Mother-Daughter Heart-to-Heart Devolves into Bitching About Dad

GARBERVILLE, CA—A frank discussion of dating gave Elizabeth Kurden and her 15-year-old daughter Claire an opportunity to discuss the failings of husband and father James Monday.

"You're too young to be dating a boy so seriously," Kurden said to Claire. "I don't want you to get in over your head. Look at me. I married your father when I was 20. He was so sweet then. I had no idea how much things change when you settle down."

"Mom, isn't how you feel about someone all that matters?" Claire said. "Troy is really cool, and he wouldn't ask me to do anything I wasn't ready to do. Don't make me suffer just because Dad never wants to do anything but sit and watch football all weekend."

No topic is too large or too small for the Kurden women to discuss, nor is any topic so far removed from the family patriarch that he can't be brought into the conversation and disparaged.

"Right now, some boys might seem attractive because they have the right clothes or the right haircut, but don't get fooled by that," Kurden said. "If you pick someone who has personality and intelligence, instead of someone who looks good in jeans, you'll be much better off. Speaking of jeans, I'll be taking you to the mall today because your father decided it was more important to fix the rototiller than it was to spend time with his daughter."

Even more mundane interactions between Kurden and Claire occasionally devolve into discussions of James and his many irritating flaws.

"The right skin moisturizer might not seem important now, but you need to start taking care of your skin early," Kurden told Claire on a recent grocery-shopping trip. "You really have to start when you're young, if you want to look nice when you get to be my age. Your father, on the other hand, seems to have forgotten all about keeping himself up, as I'm sure you've noticed."

"I've noticed," Claire said.

"And let's not even discuss those yellow marks on the armpits of his dress shirts," Kurden said.

Claire said she used to consider herself "Daddy's little girl," but in recent years, she's grown closer to her mother.

"Lately, Mom and I have been talking more about life and stuff. We've been a lot more honest with each other," Claire told reporters. "Before, if I complained that Dad broke his promise to help me with my homework or something, Mom would say something like, 'Your father is a busy man.' But now, Mom and I talk like friends. Sometimes she really goes off on him."

Between Kurden and Claire, no subject is taboo.

"I feel like I can tell Mom anything," Claire said. "I was telling her how it ticks me off when boys stop talking to you after you tell them you like them. Then, Mom told me how Dad used to tease her about her butt being too big until finally one day, she went nuts and threw a lamp at him."

Psychologist Anthony Wieland, author of Divided Parents, Conquered, said bonding over the shortcomings of a fellow family member is common.

"As happens with mothers and daughters all over the country, Claire and Elizabeth's talks bring them closer together, and allow the elder Kurden to pass on life wisdom," Wieland said. "How else would Claire learn how idiotic men can be sometimes?"

According to Wieland, husbands and sons bond in a similar manner. However, because men are less likely to verbalize their feelings, the teaching of life lessons and gender roles often takes place through role modeling.

"A man is less likely to openly discuss his spouse with his son," Wieland said. "Instead, he'll act out his feelings. If, for example, a father is interrupted in the middle of the Raiders game with some stupid question, he'll cast an unmistakably annoyed and condescending glare at his bitch wife. Then, leaving this expression in place, he'll turn so his son can see it. It's basically the same thing."

[BlondeCurlGirl]

15251

LOL @ the mother/daughter article, Steph. Sounds very familiar! :D

[Steph]

15251

Sales Disappointing For First-Ever Hustler Swimsuit Issue
LOS ANGELES—Spokespersons for Larry Flynt Publications are struggling to explain the poor sales of Hustler magazine's first annual swimsuit issue, crammed from cover to cover with beautiful young women modeling the latest sexy swimwear. "We are utterly baffled," LFP public-relations director Kenneth Micklos said of the issue, which sold 17 newsstand copies nationwide. "Our readership demographic is overwhelmingly heterosexual and male, with a strong interest in looking at beautiful women. It's a mystery."

[Steph]

15252

NEW ORLEANS—According to a report published in the September issue of the New Orleans Journal Of Medicine, a number of habits long believed detrimental to one's health—including binge-drinking and unprotected sex with multiple partners—may actually prolong and enrich one's life. "Massive intake of alcohol instills a deep sense of happiness, which is essential to longevity," the report stated. Random sex with a variety of partners is likewise encouraged: "Exhaustive field research throughout New Orleans indicates that coupling with as many people as possible is a very good thing," the study read. Other behavior endorsed by the renowned medical journal includes eating excessive amounts of rich, spicy food; inhaling nitrous oxide; and screaming "Whoo!" as loudly as possible in public. To aid the early detection of breast cancer, the study also strongly recommended that all women between the ages of 18 and 45 annually expose their breasts to cheering crowds.

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,252

[Steph]

15253

134-Year-Old Man Attributes Longevity To Typographical Error
NEW ORLEANS—Area dock worker Bert Greer celebrated his 134th birthday Friday with a quiet party at his home, surrounded by family. Asked the secret to his astounding longevity, the feisty Greer credited "healthy eating, a good walk every evening, and a Social Security worker's accidental striking of an extra digit while typing in my age." The remarkable Greer, who remembers meeting President Lyndon Johnson as a young boy, said he has "no plans to retire any time soon."

[Steph]

15254

New Pompous Asshole Magazine To Compete With Cigar Aficionado
NEW YORK—Upscale consumers who enjoy cigars, wine, and "all the finer things in life" will have a new magazine to enjoy beginning next month, when Pompous Asshole hits newsstands. Targeting the coveted 23- to 60-year-old pompous-asshole demographic, the new monthly magazine is expected to compete directly with Cigar Aficionado for advertising dollars. "Pompous Asshole is the magazine of the good life," said publisher Paul Westman. "And, unlike Cigar Aficionado, we truly cover it all: From tips on choosing the right humidor to advice on where to gamble in Monte Carlo to the lowdown on the new Jaguar XJ8, Pompous Asshole is the magazine no rich prick can afford to be without."

[Steph]

15255

Despite Claims, Long Story Not Made Short
SCHENECTADY, NY—Contrary to her pre-account vow, area resident Barb Schuyler's long story of how a series of cashier foul-ups at the grocery store Monday made her 25 minutes late for a dental appointment was not made short. "So then, it turns out the stupid woman forgot to ring in my Savers Club discount," Schuyler told friend Gloria Conlon nine minutes into the non-abbreviated tale. The story is the 1,643rd Schuyler has failed to make short since 1994.

[Steph]

15256

Customer Awkwardly Accepts One Cent, Receipt
BERKELEY, CA—Coffeehouse patron Lenny Niyo awkwardly accepted one cent and a receipt Wednesday after purchasing a $1.99 biscotti. "It made me feel kind of cheap, standing there waiting for six or seven seconds while the receipt printed out and the cashier put away my singles and got the penny, but it would have looked weird if I'd just walked away, too," Niyo said. "It's not like I wanted the receipt. I was confident the biscotti would work out fine." Niyo has reportedly not been this humiliated in a food-service environment since May 1998, when a waiter told him to enjoy his meal and he replied, "You, too."

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,255


This is my 6,400th post! :D

[Steph]

Eggs Good For You This Week
BOSTON—According to a Northeastern University study released Thursday, eggs—discovered last week by a University of California–Santa Cruz study to be unhealthy, raising serum cholesterol by as much as 20 percent—are good for you this week, with beneficial effects on cardiovascular health. "Contrary to what was previously thought, consuming an egg a day can lower a person's blood pressure and increase the heart's efficiency for the next week," the Northeastern study stated. The report urged Americans to increase egg consumption immediately, as eggs may be unhealthy again as soon as next Monday.

[Steph]

Senior-Center Residents Debate New Anchorwoman's Ethnicity For Fifth Straight Evening
ST. PETERSBURG, FL—Ferndale Senior Center residents debated new Channel 27 Action News anchorwoman Sonya Luntz's ethnicity for a fifth straight day Wednesday. Edward Bloch, 81, steadfastly held to his "Mexican" theory, while Muriel Simmons, 83, continued to lean toward Hawaiian or Indian. "If you ask me, she looks Oriental," said Jack McCallum, 79, watching Luntz on the 6 p.m. newscast. "Orientals have that shape to their face—I saw it in the war." Luntz's ethnicity will be put to an official senior-center vote Friday.

[Steph]

I've lost count as to where we are but . . . Congrats to SS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Steph]

15263

I think this gets us back on track now . . .

[GusAspar]

15,264

Good morning, all

[dicksbro]

15,265 down
984,735 to go

[Rosebud42]

15,266

[musicman]

15267

[Rosebud42]

15,268

[musicman]

15269

[osuche]

15270

[musicman]

15271

[Rosebud42]

15,272

[musicman]

15273

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,274

[GusAspar]

15,275

[musicman]

15276

[musicman]

15277

[Steph]

15,278

Where is the thread starter? Where?

[IAKaraokeGirl]

Buried under 15,279 posts. :D

[Scarlett]

15,280

Good afternoon.

[Scarlett]

15,281

I hope everyone is doing well this afternoon.

[Scarlett]

15,282

I know IAKG is having some basement trouble...

[Scarlett]

15,283

I hope she gets it all fixed up very soon.

[Scarlett]

15,284

I feel better than I have in days!

[Scarlett]

15,285

Passing my Spanish test made me feel tons better.

[Sugarsprinkles]

15, 286, and nowhere near 1,000,000 yet...

[Scarlett]

15,287

We are closer than we were :)

[Scarecrow]

15,288

[Scarlett]

15,289

[Sugarsprinkles]

15, 290

[Scarecrow]

15,291

[musicman]

15292

[dicksbro]

15,293

[dicksbro]

15,294

[dicksbro]

15,295 down
984,705 to go

[musicman]

15296

[musicman]

15297

[musicman]

15298

[musicman]

15299

[musicman]

15300

[PussyWillow]

143 = I love you

:)

[musicman]

15302

[dicksbro]

15,303

[dicksbro]

15,304

[dicksbro]

15,305 down
984,695 to go

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,306~Good morning, everyone!

[GusAspar]

15,307

hello everyone

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,308

[musicman]

15309

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,310

[babybunny]

15,311

*sends wishes for safety for all those who as facing hurricane Isabel toda*

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,312

*joins with babybunny in her wishes for safety from Isabel today.

[Steph]

15,313

Everyone's in my prayers, too.

[Steph]

15,314

We're expecting flooding and high winds but nothing serious.

[Steph]

15,315

Off to work I go . . .

[Steph]

15,316

Time for one last post :)

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,317

[Scarecrow]

15,318

[dicksbro]

15,319

[dicksbro]

15,320 down
984,680 to go

[Scarecrow]

15,321

[MilkToast]

--15,322--

zipping through....

[musicman]

15323

[musicman]

15324

[musicman]

15325

[musicman]

15326

[Salacious]

15327

[musicman]

15328

[dicksbro]

15,329

[dicksbro]

15,330 down
984,670 to go

[musicman]

15331

[Steph]

15,332

It's sooooooo windy!

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,333


Damn, it's chilly here today!!

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,334


<------loves the new, cool weather

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,335


<---------- loves the cool weather too!!

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,336~It's just right for snuggling!

[Steph]

15,337

and snuggling up with a good book!

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,338~It's *not* perfect for working.

[dicksbro]

15,339

[dicksbro]

15,340 down
984,660 to go

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,341 and counting..................

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,342

[Scarecrow]

15,343


looking for sweater

[musicman]

15344

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,345

[Angelic]

15,346

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,347

[Scarecrow]

15,348

[dicksbro]

15,349

[dicksbro]

15,350 down
984,650 to go

[musicman]

15351

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,352

[Steph]

15,353

Belial just introduced me to Bill Hicks! What a find!

[Steph]

15,354

Caustic comics rock!

[dicksbro]

15,355 down
984,645 to go

[musicman]

15356

[GusAspar]

15,357

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,358

[GusAspar]

15,359

Lovely afternoon in London. :)

[MilkToast]

15360 and a pleasant mid morning here ins Rochester NY :)

[rockintime]

15361

Ah, geez, I told myself I would never do this game.

[musicman]

15362

[dicksbro]

15,363

[dicksbro]

15,364

[dicksbro]

15,365 down
984,635 to go

[musicman]

15366

[dicksbro]

15,367

[musicman]

15368

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,369 (heheheh I said *69* hehehe)

[denny]

15370

[Lilith]

15371

you guys are nothing if not persistent!

[dicksbro]

15,372

[Scarecrow]

15,373

[dicksbro]

15,374

[Scarecrow]

15,375

[dicksbro]

15,376

[Max_theHitMan]

OOOOPS! I think I just posted number 15,377.

I´m so excited. I´m tingling all inside!!

[musicman]

15378

[Steph]

15379

Bill Hicks rocks!

[Sharni]

#15,380

[Sharni]

#15,381

[Sharni]

#15,382

[Sharni]

#15,383

[Sharni]

#15,384

[Sharni]

#15,385

[Sharni]

#15,386

[Sharni]

#15,387

[Sharni]

#15,388

[Sharni]

#15,389

[Sharni]

#15,390

[Sharni]

#15,391

[Sharni]

#15,392

[Sharni]

#15,393

[Sharni]

#15,394

[Sharni]

#15,395

[Sharni]

#15,396

[Sharni]

#15,397

[Sharni]

#15,398

[Sharni]

#15,399

[Sharni]

#15,400

[Sharni]

#15,401

[Sharni]

#15,402

[Sharni]

#15,403

[Sharni]

#15,404

[Sharni]

#15,405

[Sharni]

#15,406

[Sharni]

#15,407

[Sharni]

#15,408

[Sharni]

#15,409

[Sharni]

#15,410

[Sharni]

#15,411

[Sharni]

#15,412

[Sharni]

#15,413

[Sharni]

#15,414

[Sharni]

#15,415

[Sharni]

#15,416

[Sharni]

#15,417

[Sharni]

#15,418

[Sharni]

#15,419

[Sharni]

#15,420

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,421

[dicksbro]

15,422

[musicman]

15423

[dicksbro]

15,424

[dicksbro]

15,425 down
984,575 to go

[musicman]

15426

[wyman]

15,426
Lot of guests on this morning;)

[wyman]

oops,15,427

[musicman]

15429

[musicman]

15430

[Steph]

15431

soooo tired am I

[Steph]

15432

such a whiner am I

[MilkToast]

--15433--

morning all... a beautiful day here in western NY... nice cool air (~60degF or 15degC) and a sunny day! Time to go for a hike :)

[Scarecrow]

15,434

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,435

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,436~I am in such a good mood!

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,437 ~ I'm feeling fairly good too! :D

[Scarecrow]

15,438

[musicman]

15439

[musicman]

15440

[musicman]

15441

[Steph]

15442

[musicman]

15443

[Steph]

15443

[Steph]

15444

[musicman]

15445

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,446

[dicksbro]

15,448

[dicksbro]

15, 449

[dicksbro]

15,450 down
984,550 to go

[musicman]

15451

[Eliza]

15452

Under you Blinky Man;)

[musicman]

15453 nuttin' wrong with that Eliza! Nuttin' at all

[Eliza]

15454

mmmmm a Blinky Man and Eliza sandwich..mmmmm

[Salacious]

15455

[Salacious]

15456

[Salacious]

15457

[Salacious]

15458

[Salacious]

15459

[Salacious]

15460

[MilkToast]

--15461--

[Salacious]

15462

[Salacious]

15463

[Salacious]

15464

[GusAspar]

15,465

Monday, Monday...

[GusAspar]

15,466

[GusAspar]

15,467

[celticangel]

15,468

[dicksbro]

15,469

[dicksbro]

15,470 down
984,530 to go

[musicman]

15471

[Salacious]

15472 (good morning!) :)

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,473~Good morning, back at you!

[musicman]

15474

[IAKaraokeGirl]

15,475

[Sugarsprinkles]

15,476

[dicksbro]

15,477

[musicman]

15478

[dicksbro]

15,479

[dicksbro]

15,480 down
984,520 to go

[musicman]

15481

[Steph]

15482

[Steph]

15483

Still raining here, what about where you are, musicman?

[BigBear57]

15484

It's a rainy night in Georgia

[dicksbro]

15,485 down
984,515 to go

[Rosebud42]

15,486

[musicman]

15487

[dicksbro]

15,488

[musicman]

15489

[dicksbro]

15,490 down
984,510 to go

[musicman]

15491

[Rosebud42]

15,492

[musicman]

15493

[dicksbro]

15,494

[Rosebud42]

15,495

[dicksbro]

15,496

[musicman]

15497

[Rosebud42]

15,498

[musicman]

15499